Why I Write: A Blog Hop

hopscotchHopscotch was always a favorite game of mine when I was a kid. I can’t hop too much these days as years of bouncing babies trying to help them fall asleep has taken its toll on my knees. But there’s a new kind of hopping going on, and it’s called a Blog Hop. The purpose is to introduce you to other bloggers I think you might enjoy.

Fellow blogger, and someone I hope will be a new friend when she and her family move to Orlando soon, Julie Sanders included me in her Blog Hop last week. julie-sanders-2I’ve only met Julie once in person, in a ladies’ room during a conference we were both attending in Colorado of all places, but I’ve been impressed in her writing by her passions for life, God and her family.

Julie says about herself that she’s a “wife, mother, daughter, friend, and friend of Jesus.” She loves good food, a good book, and talking with good friends late into the night. She admits that she’s a huge fan of her husband and her three boys. Her house is filled with their music, Legos, books and artwork. You can get to know Julie through her blog Along The Way. It was cool for me to learn that Julie and a friend of mine from college know each other. It’s a small world, after all.

So, for this Blog Hop, each writer will answer 4 questions about their writing on their own blog in the near future. After I answer those questions, I will introduce you to these 3 other bloggers that I think you would enjoy. So, here goes.

1. What am I writing or working on?  At the moment, the only writing I’m doing is for my blogs; Compelled, which is what you’re reading right now, and then the one I just recently started, That Senior Year, chronicling my eldest’s journey through his last year of high school. Compelled is a mish mash of thoughts. Most of the time I use things I come across in everyday life to draw a spiritual parallel. Sometimes I talk about parenting; sometimes I talk about current events.

My tag line is “because some things just need to be said.” I’m not very controversial, but I do have strong feelings about some things, so I will talk about them sometimes. I have always wanted to write The Great American Novel, but I keep waiting for inspiration that hasn’t come. I take comfort whenever I read about a writer who wrote a best seller after they turned 60. I’ve still got time!

Actually, I’ve been pondering writing a book that I tentatively call “From Modesty to Marriage: A Former Virgin’s Guide to Being Physically Generous With Your Spouse.” Having grown up in a household where bodily functions were never talked about, and in a church where good girls were modest and nobody really understood what that meant, I entered marriage not understanding how to enjoy the physical relationship I had with my husband. We’re still working on it, and it’s been a battle, but I’m doing much better, thanks to counseling and the Lord. I would love to help other young women enter marriage a little more easily than I did.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre? Because I’m a unique person, the perspective I bring to my writing is unique. Nobody has the children I have, nobody speaks with my same voice. Has anyone else ever written about how their hermit crabs taught them about life? I didn’t think so. I speak with a touch of humor, and I try to always be respectful. That in itself is different these days!

3. Why do I write what I do? I really want my writing to influence others. Will what I say make a difference in someone’s life today? It always makes my day when someone tells me that my blog post made them think or challenged them or even made them laugh. The most fun emails I get are the ones from wordpress that say someone “liked” my post or started following me. Yay! But even if no one was reading, my desire would be to glorify God in the process. Does He like what I write? Then that’s all I need.

4. How does my writing process work? The last post I wrote, “A Fork in the Road,” came about because I actually kept seeing literal forks in the road as I rode my bike. My husband often says to me, “You ought to write a blog post about that.” Sometimes, things just occur to me. In a few days, I plan on writing a post about things that make me say, “Wait, what?” Sometimes I’ll watch a movie or read a book and want to talk about it, as I did with “Parental Supervision” and the Harry Potter and Hunger Games series. I tend to write quickly without a lot of editing, but if I think something is going to garner a lot of criticism, I give it a lot of thought and prayer. Sometimes I send it to my husband to preview before I post it. His input is invaluable. So there you have it. That’s all about me. Now, I want you to meet 3 friends.

The first is Dena Yohe. Dena has been on a purpose-filled adventure with Christ for 41 years. She and her husband, Tom, married 36 Denayears, are the co-founders of Hope for Hurting Parents, birthed out of their own pain with one of their daughters who struggled with addiction, self-injury, suicidal attempts and mental illness. She calls herself an accidental writer as her pain became her passion. What began as a way of processing the most difficult experiences of her life through journaling, turned into daily emails and then a blog to offer encouragement, resources, and hope to parents on their journey from pain to peace. She loves being mom to 3 wonderful children (31, 27 and 25) and Mimi to two precious granddaughters. Check out her blog,  Hope For Hurting Parents, and her website of the same name.

Next up is my sweet friend Becca Ramirez.

beccaBecca, a born and raised Floridian, has just recently moved to Texas with her husband and their two daughters.  She is a lover of good food, board games, traveling, books, and words.  While always an avid “journaler,” Becca only recently began seeking opportunities to expand (and publish) her writing.  Her blog, Simply Living the Life, serves as an outlet for the roller coaster of thoughts that pummel through her mind.  Her desire is to write and speak in a greater capacity, reaching the hearts and minds of youth (particularly teenage/college-aged girls). Becca is a sweet, smiling friend whom we all miss very much since her move to Texas. I think you will enjoy her thoughts.

Last, but not least, I want you to meet Rachel Knox, an almost-18-year-old that I have known since she was a small girl with wild,Rachel curly hair. She and my son Justin are just 2 days apart in age. As Rachel is also going into her senior year of high school, it’s fun to hear and read her perspective on the process. Rachel was born and raised in Orlando as her parents are missionaries with Cru. From an early age, her creativity was a dominant trait which is evident through her love of dance, sewing and anything DIY.

After attending a small Christian school from kindergarten through middle school, she enrolled in public high school, what she calls “an utterly different environment than before.” In an attempt to keep friends and family afar updated on her journey through high school, Rachel created this blog, Imperfectly Living|Perfectly Loved, to highlight the ups, the downs and the lessons learned in her everyday life.

I hope you have the time to go check out these 4 writers that you’ve been introduced to here. I think you’ll like them as much as I do!

 

A Fork In The Road

IMG_3296I try to ride my bike every day during summer break. Recently, whenever I ride it seems that I come upon a fork in the road. Literally. The one pictured here happened to be a real metal one, but most of the time they’re plastic. After about the third one, David said to me, “Do you think God’s trying to tell you something?”

No.

At least I don’t think so.

But the fact is, we come upon forks in the road all the time in life. Sometimes they’re big forks: Should I take this job or that job? Should I marry this person or not? Should I move? Which church should I attend? What should I major in? Which college should I go to? Should I even go to college?

But sometimes, those forks can be small, like the little plastic ones I come upon on my rides. But they can be significant nonetheless: Should I choose to say the kind word or lash out at my spouse/sibling/friend? Shall I let bitterness take root over some perceived injustice in my life? Should I help this homeless person holding the sign on the side of the road?

None of these are necessarily going to change the course of our life, but they can affect which direction we let our hearts go each day. Everyone has millions of choices they make in their life. Some are innocuous: What shall I wear? What shall I have for breakfast? Some are choices for good or for evil: Should I tell that cashier that she just gave me back the wrong change? Should I tell the people at the grocery store that I inadvertently wasn’t charged for an item I ended up bringing home?

Forks in the road. Will our direction bring us closer to God or take us a step away?

The choice is up to us.

8 Helpful Acronyms to Know in the Academy Application Process

USAFAsealIn any organization, there are acronyms that the people involved have to learn. And there are acronyms in general life that everyone is expected to know, like NAACP, AARP, NSA, CIA, FBI. There are even words that have come into general usage that started out as acronyms: RADAR, SCUBA and the like. Well, in this process of United States Air Force Academy (USAFA) application, these acronyms can be confusing and aren’t even necessarily intuitive. So here are 8 helpful acronyms I’ve learned in our process so far.

ALO—Academy Liaison Officer. This is an important person in the application process. He or she is your ticket to information about your application and the process in general. Once you are a candidate, you have to have an interview with your ALO in order to pass your drug and alcohol certification. And the ALO only wants to talk to the applicant. They want to know that your applicant is serious enough to talk to their ALO on their own.

MOC—Member of Congress. Many people in America probably don’t even know who their Members of Congress are. They are your senators and the Congressman (or woman) representing your district. They are the all-important people in the application process. If you do not receive a nomination from one of them, then you have to depend on the president, vice president or a military-affiliated nomination, which are harder to come by. Each MOC has a committee that reviews applicant files and interviews viable candidates. If you do not receive a nomination, you cannot receive an appointment. It’s a lengthy and complicated process which, I think, serves to weed out those who aren’t truly motivated to attend a service academy.

LOA—Letter Of Assurance. This is a really cool thing that an exceptional candidate can get if they are desired by the Academy and meet all the qualifications. If you do not have a nomination, you are a “pre candidate” and can receive an LOA saying that as soon as you get that nomination, you will get an appointment. The Academy will send this LOA to the MOCs, which could help them make the decision in your favor during the nomination process.

DD, DS, DH, DW—Dear Daughter, Dear Son, Dear Husband or Dear Wife. This is kind of a funny one that I came across on the military service academy forum that I frequent. People never use names. They will talk about their DS just getting his acceptance, or their DD in the application process.

DODMERB—Department of Defense Medical Examination Review Board. This is an all-important body that will decide, after they review your official medical exam, whether you will qualify medically or be disqualified. Everyone has to go through it, and it is rigorous.

CFA—Candidate Fitness Assessment. Another all-important step that every candidate must go through. It is pass/fail, all or nothing. It has to be administered by specific people in a very specific manner. If you fail the CFA, you cannot get an appointment.

EAP—Early Access Program. If you initiated your application between March 1 and July 1, you are eligible for the EAP, which means that you can hear in January whether you will receive an appointment or not. We just heard this morning that our DS has qualified for this program. Yay!

TWE—Thin White Envelope. This is what nobody wants to receive from the Academy. If you get the TWE, it means that you will not be receiving an appointment to the Academy at this time. It means that there is only one sheet of paper in that envelope, rather than a packet of information about what you do now that you are an official appointee. I think that every time I go to the mailbox between whenever DS’ app is mailed and January 31st, my heart will be beating just a little bit faster.

I hope that helps educate you on a few things that you might encounter along the way.

Does anyone have any others they’d like to share?

picture of Academy seal via blogs.gazette.com

Off We Go Into Service Academy Application

IMG_2911My son is in the process of applying to the United States Air Force Academy. I will spend much of my time on this blog talking about that process as I know that I appreciate every little bit of help I can get. There are a ton of forums out there, and everyone has their opinions, so sometimes weeding out what’s helpful is a long process. But here are a few things I’ve learned so far.

1. Being smart is important, but it’s not everything.

And standardized tests are a poor indicator of how truly smart someone is. My son has done very well in school. He’s 8th in his class of 733. He has a weighted GPA of more than 4.7 and is taking honors, AP and dual enrollment classes. But he’s not shown himself to excel on standardized tests. Unfortunately, the Academy has standards and if you do not meet those standards, you are disqualified. So far, DS (military academy speak for “dear son,” which, along with DD, is how all posters on military forums refer to their children) is considered competitive by the Academy.

2. Being athletic is important, but it’s not everything (do you sense a pattern here?)

Ever since DS decided he wanted to apply to the Academy, we’ve been talking about his participation in a team sport. He played Little League Baseball for many years, but hasn’t since before middle school. He earned his blue belt in Tae Kwon Do instead. Once he reached high school, he got deeply involved with his AFJROTC unit, participated in the drill team and commanded the armed drill team, which knocked him out of sports because the drill teams practice every day. Each Academy candidate has to pass the Candidate Fitness Assessment (CFA), which includes several components. If you fail even one component, you fail the whole CFA. If you fail the CFA, you’re out. So, being physically fit is necessary (obviously, since we’re talking about military service here), but that can be accomplished in ways other than participating in team sports.

Unfortunately, the Academy ranks their candidates by said participation. I did have one forum poster tell me that DS needs to be doing what he has a passion for. If JROTC is it, then that’s what he needs to do. The Academy is looking for opportunities for leadership. My DS has that within his JROTC unit by being named the Vice Wing Commander of his unit next year. His unit is more than 500 strong. That’s leadership. I hope the Academy sees it that way.

3. The Nomination from a member of Congress is everything (it really is).

No nomination, no appointment, no matter how great you are. So right now, DS has been collecting letters of recommendation to send to our senators (2) and congressman (1) and the Vice President of the United States (a long shot, but they say to apply everywhere you qualify) to send in with his application for nomination. A nomination committee will review his application and either call him for an interview, or disqualify him. If he gets the nomination, he still has to pass the CFA and his medical evaluation. If he does all that, he still needs to receive an appointment from the Academy. It’s a long, long process.

4. There is seemingly no end to the details that have to be covered.

DS has taken both the SAT and the ACT twice; now those scores have to be sent to our MOCs (Members of Congress). Essays have to be written. That’s the tough part because your essay really needs to stand out. Every list the MOCs have needs to be checked and rechecked to make sure everything that is required is enclosed. If not, your application will be turned down flat. Letters of recommendation, along with an academic recommendation from his principal, have to be sealed and then signed across the seal so the committee knows it hasn’t been tampered with. They need a photo with his name on the back. They need a checklist of items in the file. It’s enough to make an administratively minded person like myself pull out my hair. My 17-year-old son is barely surviving.

5. Discouragement is always close at hand.

You have to be on a sports team. Your ACT score is just adequate. You don’t stand out. How discouraging is that to hear for a kid entering his senior year, working a part-time job, being 2nd in command of a huge JROTC unit, volunteering with the middle school youth at his church? It’s summer and I can’t seem to motivate him to get up early to go run, to practice for the CFA, to study harder for the ACT. Especially when I’m trying to back off and let him have more control of his life. I’m determined not to nag.

After the last SAT scores came out he said to me, “I’m not going to make it.” That made me sad because I feel that he’s losing hope. We don’t know what the candidate pool looks like this year. All we know is that he can only do his best and the rest is up to God. Integrity first. Service before self. Excellence in all we do. That’s the Air Force motto. Those are intangibles. He has control over his academics and his physical fitness. He can study more for the standardized tests. But his integrity, his character, who he is when no one’s looking, are what will stand out in the end.

Hopefully, the MOCs will notice.

Lost and Found

lost walletMy husband misplaced his wallet the other day. We were pretty sure it was somewhere in the house, but we couldn’t figure out where it was. Too bad it doesn’t have a locator like the iPhone does. After two days, we decided it was time to quit saying, “I wonder where it is,” and start tearing the house apart looking for it.

We searched the couch, the boys’ room and our room; all places he remembered having had it before he lost it.

Nothing.

Finally, after I asked him if he checked all his pants pockets, he decided it could possibly be in the load of dark laundry waiting to be done. So, killing two birds with one stone, I took the hamper to the washing machine and began to load in the soiled clothes, feeling around for anything that might resemble a wallet. Nearly to the bottom, bingo! I found the errant accessory in the pocket of a pair of shorts—evidently the ones he was wearing Tuesday night.

Earlier I had offered whomever found it all the cash that was in it. Winnah! I scored a whole buck. But that wasn’t the point. We were already starting to figure in our heads what would need to be cancelled if it wasn’t found soon. There was great rejoicing that we wouldn’t have to go through all that trouble.

On the other hand, we did find a Sharpie, a few pencils and other miscellaneous items in between the couch cushions.

And then my husband, sage that he is, said something profound: You can look as thoroughly as you want for something that is missing, but if you’re looking in the wrong place, it’s all for nothing.

We could have spent hours searching the house and come up empty handed.

There’s an old country song that says the same thing: “Looking for love in all the wrong places.”

The ancient philosopher Blaise Pascal said, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.”

People look for love where true love can never be found, and even those who know Jesus, the embodiment of love, sometimes still look for approval in other places. Are you a people pleaser? Are you trying to earn God’s love by doing good things? Are you too interested in acceptance? In having people like you?

St. Augustine noted to God, “You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless, until they can find rest in you.”

We can search, and search, and search for that which we have lost—or never had in the first place—but if we’re searching where it’s not, we will never find it.

Are you looking for love? Lost fulfillment? Grace? You can find it all in Jesus. He’s always a good place to start.

 

illustration via slate.com