Why I’m Choosing To Do The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Aug21

alsa_logoI’m not really one to jump on a bandwagon. Unless it has to do with chocolate. So when my friend Alyson nominated me to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, I hesitated. I didn’t want to do it just to do it. Because everyone else is doing it. I’ve watched the heart-wrenching video from Peter Frates. I know what it’s about. And I usually don’t give to organizations like that because my funds are so limited.

But raising awareness is good. Maybe not as good as raising money. But maybe if I make someone who has more money than I aware of something, they’ll be led to give. I changed my profile picture on Facebook to the Arabic “noon” to raise awareness of and show solidarity for the Christians in Iraq and the atrocities being perpetrated against them.

But did I want to jump on this bandwagon?

And then I remembered Anni.

I met Anni at a bridal shower for my friend Faith. I sat with her at the table and asked her to tell me her story. Anni is a beautiful, outgoing, faith-filled woman whose father has ALS. Anni is his caretaker. She has put her life on hold to honor him with her service. I was so impressed by Anni’s selfless attitude. She has a really hard life. But she has some really good friends. And she loves her dad.

Chances are, her dad is not going to be around a whole lot longer. Anni needs help with meals, with getting out of the house every once in awhile, with shopping, with housework. She can’t do it herself.

One thing that Anni said to me is that, though she appreciates beyond words the meals and supplies others bring for them, she can’t stand the term “beggars can’t be choosers.” She considers herself a beggar because she needs to ask for help. She wishes people would realize that she doesn’t like to have to ask, and she’d do it herself if she knew that wouldn’t kill her in the process. She’d like for people to ask her, “What can I make for you for dinner tonight? What do you really love that you haven’t had for awhile?” Why should she not get to choose just because she’s had to ask?

So, I’m doing it for Anni. I’m going to have my son pour a bucket of ice water over my head and post it on Facebook and Instagram because that’s what Pete Frates wants me to do. Though I have no funds to contribute, I hope I am raising the awareness of someone who does. You can give at this website.

Look around you. Is there someone who is taking care of a loved one who is terminally ill? Are they bearing the burden alone? Ask them what they need. Be there for them. They are there for someone else.

Like Anni.

Here’s me, being doused.

The Benefits of a Good Guidance Counselor

Aug12

counselorMy senior is about to meet his 5th guidance counselor in 4 years of high school. Actually, only 3 because he’s just starting his 4th year. I think that’s a shame. I remember my guidance counselor from high school, Mr. Bianchi. He was this short little man with glasses and a mustache. By the time I graduated, he knew me well.

Justin is not going to have that advantage.

In light of that, here are 3 things I think are important in a good guidance counselor:

1. Expertise

The counselor Justin will have this year is brand new to the school. I know nothing about her but her name. None of the counselors I’ve talked to so far are familiar with service academy application procedures. I’m having to tell them what little I know in the hopes that it’s the right thing.

It’s been pretty frustrating.

They’ve all been very nice and accommodating, but what I want is expertise. We have a friend who is the head of guidance at a big Christian school in our area. She has helped a large number of her students apply for service academies. She has been my go-to person when I have specific questions, but she can’t help us beyond giving advice since she doesn’t have access to Justin’s file. She has volunteered to do a mock interview with him before he has to do the real thing with the nomination committees. We’re very grateful for that.

Her school is one of privilege. Our school is a Title-1 school, meaning we’re poor. I think Justin is the first one to ever even apply to an academy. What I want is for them to assure me that they will ask around and find someone who does know something to help them. I want them to be proactive. I think I’m delusional to think that will happen.

2. Availability

I think it’s important that a counselor is available, or readily returns calls or emails, especially for their senior students. I understand summer breaks, I really do, but at the end of last year, and over the summer, I have communicated with 3 different counselors to try to get the information Justin needs for his Air Force Academy application. When 1 would start to help us, she would then leave on vacation and be unavailable. I had to go through the principal and assistant principal to try to find someone in guidance who could help us. Now, he’s got a brand new counselor who just started this week. I haven’t been able to have any contact with her at all. I left a message this morning on her direct line. I left a message yesterday on the general guidance line. I so understand that 3,000+ students are about to descend upon them, but communication is key.

3. Personal interest

I understand the first change in counselors Justin experienced because our high school has a separate freshman campus with 2 guidance counselors for the 500+ students there. But to have so much turnover from sophomore to senior years is concerning to me. Beyond that, I just want to know that his guidance counselor is positioning him to have the best opportunity to do what he wants to do. How can she do that if she doesn’t even know who he is? We still have college applications ahead of us, as a plan B if he doesn’t get the Academy nomination or appointment. I’m so much more depending on friends than I am the school.

So, hopefully this week, as schedules come out and I go on campus to meet Justin’s teachers—which actually isn’t really necessary since he’s only taking 2 classes on campus, both from instructors I already know—I will also meet his new counselor. Maybe I’m wrong about her. Maybe she comes from another school in which she had lots of opportunities to help with service academy applications. I sincerely hope that is the case.

What have you found most helpful about your guidance counselors? I’d love to hear your stories.

 

image from classroom.jc-schools.net

Wait, What?

Aug8

huhI don’t consider myself a political activist, nor do I consider that I am fully informed about all that is going on in the world. And I take most of the things I read on the Internet with a grain of salt. I know that journalism looks less like the non-biased institution it used to be and more like a pawn of different political parties, and that bothers me, being in journalism for many year as I was. So I do tend to check out the things that I read. But unless I have access to the person about which the story is written, I know I don’t have all the facts.

That being said, there have been several stories in the news lately that made me stop and say, “Wait, what?”

First is the story of a man in Texas who was told by the manager of his apartment complex to take down the American flag on his apartment balcony because it was “A threat to the Muslim community.”

A man is flying an American flag. In Texas. How dare he be told to take it down? He wasn’t waving it in anybody’s face. He wasn’t yelling “death to Islam!” If those who feel threatened by the flag—and I’m guessing it was not a large number, but probably a vocal, like, 1—don’t like it, they can MOVE. You live in America, dude. Deal with it.

Then, I read about a military mom of 3 who was blasted on social media for her stance on her Constitutional rights.

Holly Fisher lives in West Virginia. Her husband is in the Army. She is pro life, believes in the Constitution of the United States of America, and is a gun owner. She also has small children. After the Supreme Court decision came down in favor of Hobby Lobby and other family businesses, Holly’s husband took a picture of her wearing a pro-life T-shirt in front of a Hobby Lobby holding a Chick-fil-A cup, which she posted online. Then, on July 4th, she posted another picture of herself in front of her American flag, holding a Bible and a gun. She says it was an illustration of her First Amendment rights. People compared her to a terrorist. She was appalled at some of the responses.

Later, after she complained that, due to ObamaCare, she had lost her baby’s cardiologist, someone on Twitter responded, “Good, I’m glad she did. One less conservative underling to worry about. Have a nice life.”

Wait, what? You’re saying it’s good that her baby is sick, has lost her primary specialist, and could be at risk for her life just because you don’t agree with the child’s mother? And what don’t you agree with? The Constitution? Really? How twisted is that?

Lastly, a Florida mom was arrested for letting her 7-year-old son walk to the park by himself. Remember that post on helicopter parenting I wrote recently? Stuff like this just makes me shake my head. This boy had a cell phone with him, had just made contact with his mom to say he was coming home soon and had been to this park many times before. Police saw him, questioned him, then went to his home and arrested his mom on felony child neglect charges.

Wait, what?

Could they not just have taken the boy home and cautioned his mom that it was probably not a safe idea to let her son do this alone? Was arresting her and totally freaking out her son necessary? How does letting your child walk to a nearby park by himself constitute felony child neglect? I let my 11-year-old daughter walk across the street to youth group by herself. I understand that there are bad people around, and I understand that it is not the same world in which I grew up, but this situation is completely beyond the realm of sense.

People are offended way too easily, they think the worst of people, they speak (or write) caustic, hateful words. It breaks my heart that decency seems to be nowhere to be found in the world today.

Heaven help us all.

8 Life Skills I Want My Senior To Have Before He Leaves My House (#5-8)

Aug1

Last week I talked about the first 4 of 8 skills I wanted to make sure my son possesses before he leaves home. You can read that here. Here are the last 4, as promised.

clip-art-telephone-960170#5 Making phone calls to get information or make connections

I feel like a lot of teens struggle with this area. Maybe it’s just boys, but making phone calls seems to be a lost art. When Justin was applying for the job he has now at Chick-fil-A, he was told to talk to them again once he turned 16. The day after his birthday, I made him call the hiring manager. He didn’t want to be pushy; I told him he was showing initiative. With this whole Academy application deal, he has had to make calls to several different people. He hasn’t wanted to, but he’s done it. And he’s done very well with sounding professional. I think the more he does it, the easier it will be. There are still at least 3 other people I would like him to call to get advice, but I’m letting him take the lead on those. So far, he’s not leaning that way.

job_interview#6 Going on a job interview
Last week, a friend of mine asked me to help her 18-year-old daughter prepare for an upcoming job interview. We set up a mock interview one morning where the daughter would come to my house as if she were going to a real interview. I prepared real questions, used an assumed name and arranged for my husband to call me part way through as an interruption. Everything went well and I gave her feedback after it was all over. Yesterday, she told me she got the job! When my son was applying for his job with Chick-fil-A, we talked him through what to expect and went with him since he was a minor. But he was on his own for the impression he made. If your child hasn’t yet held a job, I highly recommend prepping him or her in advance. It’s gotta happen sometime.

preaching#7 Evaluating a church for biblical accuracy
Having been brought up in the church, attended small-group Bible studies and heard the truth taught in his home all his life, my son should be well prepared to find a truth-filled church. But we know that the devil is sneaky and can cause a lie to sound like the truth. Helping my son discern truth from lie is priority to us.

 

returns#8 Dealing with businesses
Not only does adulthood mean making decisions for yourself, it means dealing with people who might not always be easy to deal with. We started out easy—having our kids order their own meals from the server at restaurants when we went out as a family. Getting them talking to strangers in a safe environment helps prepare them to talk to clerks or potential bosses on their own. If you are not satisfied with a product you purchased, you need to let the business know. Making purchases, returning items, calling ahead to see if a store has something particular you’re looking for, these are all skills kids need to learn before they leave home.

I know there are plenty more ideas out there. What do skills do you want your children to have before they venture out on their own?

images from gifpic.com; roundpulse.com; Acts29today.com; wikihow.com

8 Life Skills I Want My Senior To Have Before He Leaves My House (#1-4)

Jul27

My friend Lucinda has a daughter who is also a senior this year. She posted on Facebook wanting ideas for life skills people would suggest she work on teaching her daughter this year. That gave me the idea for this post about things I want to make sure my son knows before he leaves home. Besides the moral fortitude I pray he is daily building, here are the first 4 of 8 skills I think are important for college kids to have.

bg-laundry-basket#1 Laundry

Ever since my kids were young, I have had them do their own laundry. They know how to sort it, use the washer and dryer properly, and put their own stuff away. My youngest isn’t the best at turning things right side out first, but that will come. Justin knows that if he wants his work uniform clean, he needs to plan ahead. He also knows that if he gets stains, he needs to use a reliable stain remover (Melaleuca is our detergent of choice). He also knows how to use the iron. He cares more about his appearance now than he used to, so I don’t even have to prompt him to do a load if his hamper is getting full.

Wallet_with_Credit_Cards_and_Money_Clipart#2 Financial responsibility

When my boys started high school, I took them to the bank and opened checking accounts for them. They have debit cards that they use for clothes, essentials like deodorant—very essential for a teenage boy—and food if they go out with friends. I still give them a sum of money each month with which to purchase these things, but the buying of such is their responsibility. I taught them each to use a budgeting app and they have a category for tithing and saving. Every month they balance their account with the bank. Since Justin also has a job, he is required to budget that money as well. On his own initiative, he opened a savings account and is having 20% of his paycheck automatically deposited into that account.

cooking#3 Cooking

When Justin was in middle school, I had this lofty idea of having him cook a day a week. That didn’t really work out, but luckily, he likes to be in the kitchen. He likes to bake and knows how to read a recipe, so he’s good to go. When my husband and I go out of town a couple of times a year for work, I leave him in charge of meals. Now that he’s working a lot more, I will have to adjust that some, but his younger brother needs to build up his kitchen confidence, so I’ll be putting more on his plate, so to speak. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated, just nutritious and plentiful. Even Morgan, my 11-year-old, has decided she likes to bake, so several times this summer she has gotten up early to make muffins or biscuits. She likes to help in the kitchen as well, so I involve her, along with my younger boy, Nathan, in dinner preparation. One thing I probably need to make sure of is that they know how to grocery shop for deals as well.

thank-you#4 Thank you notes

Even before they knew how to write, my kids sent notes to family and friends for gifts at Christmas and birthdays. Once they were writing on their own, they wrote their own notes. Before that, they just drew pictures and I wrote the words. Teachers always got thank you gifts with notes at the end of the year. Even in high school, knowing their teachers probably rarely hear words of thanks, my boys have given their teachers Subway gift cards and notes of thanks. When a teacher agreed to fill out an evaluation for Justin’s Academy application, he put in a note of thanks along with the invitation to the online form. It’s never a bad thing to show your appreciation.

Later this week: skills 5-9

laundry image from dirtylaundrydesigns.com; wallet image from gallery.yopriceville.com; cooking image from twighlightinsight.wordpress.com; thank you image from blogs.timesunion.com