8 Life Skills I Want My Senior To Have Before He Leaves My House (#5-8)

Aug1

Last week I talked about the first 4 of 8 skills I wanted to make sure my son possesses before he leaves home. You can read that here. Here are the last 4, as promised.

clip-art-telephone-960170#5 Making phone calls to get information or make connections

I feel like a lot of teens struggle with this area. Maybe it’s just boys, but making phone calls seems to be a lost art. When Justin was applying for the job he has now at Chick-fil-A, he was told to talk to them again once he turned 16. The day after his birthday, I made him call the hiring manager. He didn’t want to be pushy; I told him he was showing initiative. With this whole Academy application deal, he has had to make calls to several different people. He hasn’t wanted to, but he’s done it. And he’s done very well with sounding professional. I think the more he does it, the easier it will be. There are still at least 3 other people I would like him to call to get advice, but I’m letting him take the lead on those. So far, he’s not leaning that way.

job_interview#6 Going on a job interview
Last week, a friend of mine asked me to help her 18-year-old daughter prepare for an upcoming job interview. We set up a mock interview one morning where the daughter would come to my house as if she were going to a real interview. I prepared real questions, used an assumed name and arranged for my husband to call me part way through as an interruption. Everything went well and I gave her feedback after it was all over. Yesterday, she told me she got the job! When my son was applying for his job with Chick-fil-A, we talked him through what to expect and went with him since he was a minor. But he was on his own for the impression he made. If your child hasn’t yet held a job, I highly recommend prepping him or her in advance. It’s gotta happen sometime.

preaching#7 Evaluating a church for biblical accuracy
Having been brought up in the church, attended small-group Bible studies and heard the truth taught in his home all his life, my son should be well prepared to find a truth-filled church. But we know that the devil is sneaky and can cause a lie to sound like the truth. Helping my son discern truth from lie is priority to us.

 

returns#8 Dealing with businesses
Not only does adulthood mean making decisions for yourself, it means dealing with people who might not always be easy to deal with. We started out easy—having our kids order their own meals from the server at restaurants when we went out as a family. Getting them talking to strangers in a safe environment helps prepare them to talk to clerks or potential bosses on their own. If you are not satisfied with a product you purchased, you need to let the business know. Making purchases, returning items, calling ahead to see if a store has something particular you’re looking for, these are all skills kids need to learn before they leave home.

I know there are plenty more ideas out there. What do skills do you want your children to have before they venture out on their own?

images from gifpic.com; roundpulse.com; Acts29today.com; wikihow.com

8 Life Skills I Want My Senior To Have Before He Leaves My House (#1-4)

Jul27

My friend Lucinda has a daughter who is also a senior this year. She posted on Facebook wanting ideas for life skills people would suggest she work on teaching her daughter this year. That gave me the idea for this post about things I want to make sure my son knows before he leaves home. Besides the moral fortitude I pray he is daily building, here are the first 4 of 8 skills I think are important for college kids to have.

bg-laundry-basket#1 Laundry

Ever since my kids were young, I have had them do their own laundry. They know how to sort it, use the washer and dryer properly, and put their own stuff away. My youngest isn’t the best at turning things right side out first, but that will come. Justin knows that if he wants his work uniform clean, he needs to plan ahead. He also knows that if he gets stains, he needs to use a reliable stain remover (Melaleuca is our detergent of choice). He also knows how to use the iron. He cares more about his appearance now than he used to, so I don’t even have to prompt him to do a load if his hamper is getting full.

Wallet_with_Credit_Cards_and_Money_Clipart#2 Financial responsibility

When my boys started high school, I took them to the bank and opened checking accounts for them. They have debit cards that they use for clothes, essentials like deodorant—very essential for a teenage boy—and food if they go out with friends. I still give them a sum of money each month with which to purchase these things, but the buying of such is their responsibility. I taught them each to use a budgeting app and they have a category for tithing and saving. Every month they balance their account with the bank. Since Justin also has a job, he is required to budget that money as well. On his own initiative, he opened a savings account and is having 20% of his paycheck automatically deposited into that account.

cooking#3 Cooking

When Justin was in middle school, I had this lofty idea of having him cook a day a week. That didn’t really work out, but luckily, he likes to be in the kitchen. He likes to bake and knows how to read a recipe, so he’s good to go. When my husband and I go out of town a couple of times a year for work, I leave him in charge of meals. Now that he’s working a lot more, I will have to adjust that some, but his younger brother needs to build up his kitchen confidence, so I’ll be putting more on his plate, so to speak. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated, just nutritious and plentiful. Even Morgan, my 11-year-old, has decided she likes to bake, so several times this summer she has gotten up early to make muffins or biscuits. She likes to help in the kitchen as well, so I involve her, along with my younger boy, Nathan, in dinner preparation. One thing I probably need to make sure of is that they know how to grocery shop for deals as well.

thank-you#4 Thank you notes

Even before they knew how to write, my kids sent notes to family and friends for gifts at Christmas and birthdays. Once they were writing on their own, they wrote their own notes. Before that, they just drew pictures and I wrote the words. Teachers always got thank you gifts with notes at the end of the year. Even in high school, knowing their teachers probably rarely hear words of thanks, my boys have given their teachers Subway gift cards and notes of thanks. When a teacher agreed to fill out an evaluation for Justin’s Academy application, he put in a note of thanks along with the invitation to the online form. It’s never a bad thing to show your appreciation.

Later this week: skills 5-9

laundry image from dirtylaundrydesigns.com; wallet image from gallery.yopriceville.com; cooking image from twighlightinsight.wordpress.com; thank you image from blogs.timesunion.com

 

The Four Kinds Of People I Meet On My Rides

Jul23

little-econ-02As you’re probably aware by now, I ride my bike often. Because summer in Florida is, how shall I say this? stinkin’ hot, I ride as early in the morning as I can get myself out of bed. And since I’m not a morning person, that’s not like 6 a.m. or anything. This morning it was closer to 8:30 because, along with being a bike rider, I’m also a baseball fanatic, and so I stay up late in the summer watching my team—the best-record-in-baseball Oakland Athletics—until way too late at night.

But I digress.

As I was riding my 11-or-so miles this morning, I was struck by the different people I encountered. I’m a friendly person, and I’m not speeding down the street on my bike, so I greet each person I meet along the way with a friendly, “Good morning!” As I do that, I notice four different kinds of people: the cautious, the clueless, the cheerful and the condemned.

The Cautious

Maybe it’s just a sign of the times, but a large percentage of the people I encounter are not readily willing to meet my eye. They have no smile on their face, and they certainly don’t greet me first. But, I’m determined to leave no one out, so I cheerfully greet each and every person, no matter how glum they look. And you know what, my greeting almost always elicits a response, and sometimes even a smile.

The Clueless

In the era of earbuds and mp3 players, I encounter a lot of people who are simply in their own little world. They’re not looking around; they’re not engaging with what’s around them. I say my usual “good morning” and get no response in return. But this cluelessness doesn’t just apply to the walkers, runners or other bikers I see on the street: This morning, a big ‘ol truck completely blocked my way (I ride on the sidewalk because I value my life here in Orlando, a most unfriendly biking city) and the driver never once glanced in my direction to see that I wanted to get by.

The Cheerful

There are those few that will give a friendly wave and greeting even before I get mine out. They seem happy and looking forward to whatever their day holds. Be they young, old or in the middle, these people are facing life with a smile.

The Condemned

I chose this last label not because I am condemning these people, but because they themselves seem to be condemned—by others, by the world, by their circumstances. I don’t know their stories, but I know that God loves them, and so I greet them. The dirty homeless man with the startled look on his face; the young man with the off-center hat and the the tat-covered arms; the old woman shuffling along to the bus stop. They are people, they deserve attention. They deserve love. And you know what, they almost always greet me in return. In some I see the hint of a smile, in some it may just be a polite habit that was ingrained from their childhood. But maybe, just maybe, my friendly greeting will help them know that I saw them.

They are not invisible.

They are loved.

Photo from bikeorlando.net

Why I’m Pro Life

Jul15

choose life feetIt breaks my heart to read stories detailing arguments between those who are pro life and those who are pro choice. So much vitriol. So much passion on either side. I cry for those who are in situations where they have to make a choice, and I cry for the babies who will never see life.

I’ve never been put into a situation where I had to make the choice of whether to keep a pregnancy going or to terminate it. I’ve been pregnant 6 times, and only 3 of those babies made it to birth. I miscarried the other 3. But all those babies were wanted and loved before they ever took a breath. When I miscarried, I grieved.

I was married, gainfully employed (if you can call being a missionary being gainfully employed) and in good health. I didn’t have any of the factors in my life that cause others to have to make the decision to carry a baby to term or not.

I could argue for hours about the logic of life beginning at conception, but I don’t think this is a logical subject: it’s an emotional one. So when a friend of mine found herself face to face with the decision to terminate her pregnancy or not, the issue drew very close to home.

Cristina, married with 2 other children, wasn’t expecting to get pregnant. But she and her husband rejoiced at the news. Then tragedy struck: As she began to bleed heavily, Cristina learned that she had been carrying twins, but one didn’t make it. Now, the second was at great risk. Because the placenta had ruptured to expel the baby that hadn’t survived, the likelihood of the other also being expelled was very high. Cristina was referred to a high-risk OBGyn and put on strict bedrest in hopes that the placenta would heal.

The family called all their friends and family around them to pray.

The next blow came when an ultrasound revealed that the surviving twin had an omphalocele, an abdominal wall defect, that causes the intestines, liver, and occasionally other organs, to form in a sac outside its body. Not only that, there was a large hematoma near the placenta, and the cervix was open because of the miscarriage.

The high risk doctor assured Cristina that there was no chance that she would carry this baby to term. She could abort it, or go home and wait for the inevitable. But Cristina’s hope is in Jesus and so we prayed.

Cristina's ultrasoundIn the middle of one night, Cristina awoke with a powerful feeling inside her body. She woke her husband to pray with her. Then she felt peace. At her next appointment, the ultrasound revealed that the baby was perfect. The omphalocele had disappeared, the hematoma was completely gone. The doctor was speechless. All she could say was that it was a miracle. Subsequently, they discovered that even the cervix had closed “by itself” without the need of stitches to close it up.

Cristina is free to resume normal life, carrying a normal baby in a completely normal way, yet with the knowledge that this was an extraordinary event.

God has a plan for every single life. This is just one example of how one of the arguments for abortion—the child having major defects that would cause it to spontaneously abort anyway—is nothing in the hands of a mighty God. Does He always miraculously heal? No. Is He able? Absolutely. 

To not trust Him who is the giver of life is to live in fear of the unknown. Perfect love casts out fear.

That’s one of the reasons I have made the choice to be pro life.

 

That Senior Year Schedule

Jul14

Jusitn's beach dayIt may be summer, but school creeps into our everyday lives around here. In Orange County, Fla., our students are required to complete an online class in order to graduate. All the classes my senior needs to take are tough enough that he doesn’t want to do them online, so he opted for something that might be a little fun: creative photography. He’s got an artistic bent that we figured would be nurtured by something like this. So far, school though it is, he seems to be liking the hands-on aspect of the class.

But we’re still having a bit of a hard time figuring out what other classes he should be taking next year. The Air Force Academy wants him to keep up a rigorous schedule of classes, but he really only needs 1 more English class to graduate.

AP vs. dual enrollment is the question of the day. He absolutely does not want to take AP Lit., so that means he needs to take a dual enrollment comp. class. He passed the AP English test, so he is exempt from comp 1, but he has to take his test results to the college campus to prove that he passed it so that he can enroll in comp. 2 instead.

Then there’s the foreign language issue. He’s taken his 2-year graduation requirement, but does the Academy want him to take a 3rd year? If so, the only period he can take it at his high school is 1st, making scheduling dual enrollment classes difficult since they’re not offering but 1 class at his high school meaning he has to leave his high school campus to go to the college campus.

I don’t remember having to go through all this in high school.

So, a call to his Academy counselor is in order to find out whether he recommends the 3rd year of foreign language. If so, Justin will try to squeeze in the 2 dual enrollment classes between 1st and 5th period, when he has to be back for his AP Physics class.

Good thing he drives.sURVIVAL gUIDE

Good thing the college isn’t very far away.

Gone are the days of an easy senior-year schedule. AP Physics, Aerospace Science 4, dual enrollment pre calculus then calculus, dual enrollment comp 2, possibly French 3. Makes my brain hurt just to think about it.

Work. Academy application. Online class. phew. I almost feel sorry for the poor guy.

Oh, for those lazy, hazy days of summer.