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Don’t Be A Sore Loser

Apr25

CalvinI just read a story tonight about a boy in Connecticut who killed a girl at his high school, purportedly because she wouldn’t go to the prom with him. Girl won’t go with you? Well, she doesn’t deserve to live! How appalling is that?

Guess he never learned that you don’t always win.

Have you ever played a game with a young child? Small children will manipulate the rules to any game so that it lands in their favor. But teaching a child how to lose is a very important task we as parents cannot neglect. We used to tell our kids, “Nobody wants to play with a sore loser. If you can’t lose well, you can’t play.”

The habit of youth sports teams now of presenting a trophy to every player is not doing the kids any favors. Your team came in last? Well, we don’t want you to feel badly about yourself, so here’s a trophy.

Hogwash. You lost. You tried your best, and you did a great job participating, but the winners get the prize.

Think about it for a minute: if everyone gets a trophy, what is the point of trying?

1 Corinthians 9:24 says, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”

It’s such a fine line. You aren’t loved for your efforts, or for winning, you’re just loved. But if you don’t try hard, you’re not going to even have a chance to win. How you play the game is so very important. You can get a reward for showing good sportsmanship. But if you don’t happen to win the game, you’re not going to get the prize at the end.

Can you imagine if you were interviewing people for a job, you decide between several, and the ones who don’t get it sue you because you failed to give them the job they wanted? Doesn’t it feel sometimes like that’s what the world is coming to?

Nobody likes to lose, that’s true. Everybody likes to be the winner. But the fact is, not everyone can win.

My son is applying for the Air Force Academy. Is he going to be disappointed if he doesn’t get in? Absolutely. But he’s not going to throw a fit and declare that it’s no fair! if he doesn’t.

Work hard, try your best, and leave the results to God.

 

Calvin picture from pinterest.com

Waging War

Apr18

warriorWe have a hot tub as a part of our swimming pool, and when we sit in it as a family, my kids enjoy playing a game where someone thinks of a word, and the others compete to see who can come up with a song that includes that word. It’s amusing what I can pull out of the archives of my mind. Especially when they try to come up with obscure words. Recently, one of them challenged us with the word “warrior.” I know a song with that word in it, but for the life of me I couldn’t conjure the words or the tune in my head. It had been a long time since I’d heard it. I remembered the name of the artist, though, So when we finally went inside, I went to my computer and googled “Twila Paris, warrior.” The song, of course, popped right up: “The Warrior is a Child.”

“They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down. They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around. I drop my sword and cry for just awhile. ‘Cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child.”

The battle gets wearying, doesn’t it? We’re fighting for our marriages; we’re fighting for the minds of our children; we’re fighting for Truth. I’m just tired. I don’t want to monitor my boys’ internet activity. I don’t want to work with my daughter on how she responds to authority. I don’t want to write my congressman about making sure our rights as Americans are protected. It’s too hard. I’m too tired. But what happens if I don’t do these things? The results would be catastrophic.

Galatians 6:9 says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Warriors don’t give up. “I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I’ll stand” to quote another battle song.

Twila Paris said it so well back in the day, so stand strong as you listen to her song. Hang in there, Warrior!

photo courtesy of pinimg.com

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe

Apr11

question-markSome people love to make decisions. It comes easily for them. I have one son who, when he had money in his pocket, wanted to go right away to the toy store so he could spend it on whatever he fancied. I have another who would walk the aisles, mulling, thinking, considering, and then walk out without anything because he couldn’t decide which thing he wanted.

That decision-making process only gets more difficult as time goes on, and the biggest is right around the corner: college.

My mind spins when I think about all the decisions coming up quickly for my eldest. And all the tasks: SAT, ACT, Air Force Academy application, senate nominations, college applications, ROTC scholarships, etc., etc., etc. It’s overwhelming. What if he doesn’t have a high enough GPA? How do I motivate him to study? How many times should he take the SAT? What if we do something wrong in the Academy application? Will that ruin his chances? And how in the world are we going to pay for college if he doesn’t get into the Academy or get a major scholarship?

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matt. 6:25-34).

Ahhhh. Isn’t that just like our Heavenly Father to comfort us with the equivalent of “I’ve got this.” The decisions still have to be made, and the tasks still have to be completed, but the weight is not on us. Do your part; trust God with the results. I don’t have to fear that my son won’t get into the Air Force Academy. If that’s the ultimate plan for him, he’ll get there—not by sitting and waiting for God to move, mind you, but by working diligently and trusting God.

It’s such a delicate balance: work and faith. You want to trust God for a job, but you can’t sit in your recliner waiting for bosses to come knocking. You want to know where God wants you to go to college, but an acceptance letter isn’t just going to magically appear in your mailbox.

I think what God wants is for us to walk closely with Him every day, to talk to Him about everything, and trust that He’s got our future under control. Do I know where the finances are going to come from to send my kids to the colleges of their choice? No. Not completely. But we started college funds for them, we encourage them to do their best in school, and we’ll apply for financial aid and every scholarship for which they qualify.

And we’ll leave the results to God.

The Promise

Mar2

23 years. 8401 days. 3 miscarried babies. 3 born babies. 2 dogs, 2 cats, numerous fish, 3 hermit crabs and a bird. 8 vehicles. 2 apartments—one in California, one in Florida. 2 houses. Too many bikes to count. 1 husband. Together, beating the odds.

I’m glad I keep a journal, because I have written recordsc0079bb1f of so much that’s gone on in those 8401 days. 34 days before that count started, though, I wrote about what I thought the promises were that I’d be making that March 2nd day 23 years ago. Here’s what I said:

“The main thing I think I’m committing to is knowing him better than anybody else, and always being there to help make him the best that he can be. I’m promising to search out his innermost thoughts, and to listen carefully. I’m promising to point out his rough spots and to help sand them down, and to polish up his bright spots so they show up even better. I’m promising to let him know that I love him even when it may seem to him that no one else does. I will be his shelter. I’m promising to provide a home for him that is a haven, one he will be loathe to leave and anxious to get back to. I’m promising to reveal myself to him as I do to no one else. To let him point out the rough spots in me that no one else is able or willing to. I’m promising to let him take care of me and thus encourage that nurturing, caring, providing, leading attitude that comes from knowing you are really and truly needed. I’m promising to be the church to his Jesus. And it’s not going to be easy. But it’s going to be worth it.”IMG_3260

Happy anniversary, Hunny. It has definitely not been easy, but it has most definitely been worth it. Here’s to many, many more.

The Proof Is In The Pots

Dec27

IMG_3168We’ve been on a month-or-more-long journey of home-improvement projects. It started awhile back when we realized that we would need to replace our roof this year. One very smart contractor from whom we got a quote let us know that our insurance was required to pay for a new roof if it had sustained at least 25% wind and hail damage. No one else had told us that. It was a wonderful provision for us. It also meant that, instead of spending a recently cashed-out investment on a roof, we could tackle some projects at home. Like replacing our too-small refrigerator, redecorating our family room, repainting our pool deck and finally finishing a side yard that had been divested of its swing set a long time ago.

Watching everything take shape was a wonder. Finding sales, creating something beautiful from pieces of wood, planting flowers in December to fulfill the vision I had for the yard. When furniture salespeople told me I wouldn’t be able to find the color couch I wanted because it just wasn’t popular anymore, I persevered, and God provided. When my husband took my plan and desire for a whole-wall bookshelf/TV oak unit and built it with his own hands, I felt the love. When I wanted a certain type of pot for the flowers in the yard, and brick-and-mortar stores and internet searches let me down for weeks, I didn’t give up. There were many times I felt that maybe my plans for this yard were going to have to be set aside, and I was going to have to compromise my vision. But God knew what I wanted. He didn’t have to provide these pots—and for a really great price—but I think He wanted to give me a glimpse of how much He cares about the details.

Every time I look at all that God allowed us to accomplish the past 2 months, I wonder how anyone could argue the existence of God, or the fact that He cares about us. Why would God care what kind of flower pots I have in my yard? But He does. And He provided just what I asked for.

God loves, God provides, God cares.

And what about our friends with the sick son in Colorado? Does God care about them? Isn’t he more important than a pot?

What about the family who just lost their mother? Does God care about them? Why didn’t He provide a cure as He provided the perfect pot?

That’s the age-old question, isn’t it? Why do bad things happen to good people?

Because the world is a broken place. People get sick and die, suffering is rampant. And so is sin. That’s why we long for paradise, and the little glimpses that God gives us along the way help us hold on for the journey. They help to remind us that forever is longer than this.

How do we know God loves us and cares for the details of our lives? The proof is in the pots.