Archives

Redecorating

Nov5

welcomeMy husband and I are in the process of doing some revamping of our family room. We’ve ordered a leather couch and love seat to replace our worn out, hand-me-down set, moved out an oak bookshelf to our daughter’s room, and made plans for a built-in bookcase/tv/aquarium stand. Right now, my family room looks like a giant mess.

But my daughter’s room is amazingly clean. She’s put that big bookshelf to work in her room—mostly holding her boatload of stuffed animals. She slaved yesterday getting everything cleaned up and going through 12 plastic bins to make room for the new furniture.

It looks great.

Unlike my family room.

Unlike my life.

The mess in my house just reflects the mess in my life as I try to determine where I’m supposed to be right now. With my eldest just a year and a bit away from graduating from high school—and hopefully following his dreams to the United States Air Force Academy—and my youngest in her last year of elementary school, I’m looking ahead to a crossroads.

I’m full on into menopause.

I’m thinking of changing jobs within my organization.

I’m searching for where God wants me to serve in my church community.

Crossroads. Mid-life crisis. Redecorating.

Years ago there was a song that was popular on Christian radio called “Welcome Home.”  Watch it below:

I love the imagery:

Take a seat – pull up a chair –
Forgive me for the disrepair
And the souvenirs from floor to ceiling
Gathered on my search for meaning,
And every closet’s filled with clutter –
Messes yet to be discovered –
I’m overwhelmed – I understand
I can’t make this place all that You can…

Much as I try to make my house what I want it to be, I certainly can’t do it alone. My husband is a great handyman, and his desire to please me makes him a willing participant in my sometimes hair-brained schemes. Not that I’m saying this project is hair brained, you understand.

How much more does God love me and want to come in to what is essentially His home and make out of it what He wants to? He’s not in a crisis. He sees no crossroads. He just wants every corner of my life to be His. I don’t know if recording artist Shaun Groves wrote his song based on the booklet “My heart Christ’s home,” but he could have. It’s certainly the same theme.

No corner undusted; no closet uncleaned; no room off limits.

I’m attempting to redecorate my family room. Jesus is attempting to redecorate my life.

Have at it, Lord. Your interior decorating skills are far superior to mine.

Searching My Roots

Nov1

Last summer, after she listened to a Native American woman speak about her story, my sister Leslie challenged me to write a piece about who I am. The challenge is to know who we really are based on where we come from. I took that challenge and wanted to share it with you. I am currently at a place in life where I’m trying to figure out just exactly who I am and who God wants me to become. Kind of a mid-life crisis, you might say, without so much of the crisis part. Here’s a part of my story. I’d love to hear yours.

I am from

102_1116I am from the Golden State
I am from the winding, hilly roads overlooking the San Francisco Bay
I am from mountains and beaches, rocky shores and tide pools waiting to be explored
I am from sunshine and foggy mornings with the tips of the Golden Gate Bridge just peaking through.

 

I am from the country, the smell of alfalfa and the lowing of cattle
I am from searing heat and shimmering highways
I am from the Old Country, where garlic and olive oil permeate the air
I am from family, from privilege, a name and a reputation to maintain

I am from the land of bagpipes and brave hearts
I am from clan Grant, an unexplored entity in my life

I am from a popular mother and a father who wasn’t sure who he wasrocking chair
I am from the affects of alcohol and disappointment and dying dreams
I am from generosity and volunteering and friendships that lasted through decades
I am from a love uncertain about how to be expressed

I am from acceptance and forgiveness and new life
I am from purpose, from words knocking at the door, waiting to be let out
I am from unconditional love
I am from the heart of God, written on His timeline before it began

Happy Dependence Day

Jul4

in·de·pend·ence [in-di-pen-duhns]

Noun; freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

american-flagToday we celebrate Independence Day. It’s an important day in our nation, of course, because it signifies that we won our freedom, at great cost, from another nation that was subjecting us to laws to which we did not want to be subject. Nobody denies our right to our independence. No one  denies us the right to be a sovereign nation.

For a country, independence is desired, sought after, fought for.

For people who need a Savior, it’s not such a good thing.

Think about it. Look at the definition above. Do we want to be free from the control, influence, support, aid or the like of the Holy Spirit? Our country said to England, “We don’t want you to control us anymore!” But if we were to tell our sovereign God that we don’t want His influence or support in our life, we would fall apart.

One of the pastors at my church prayed something one time that I have never forgotten. He said this: “If You took Your eyes off of us, we would be undone.”

Happy Independence Day, America!

Happy dependence day for me. And may it be so for the rest of my life.

In Memory Of Those We’ve Lost

May27

american-flag

Because I believe that freedom is not primarily for the privileged, but for the oppressed, and because I believe that the strong are obligated to take up the cause of the weak, and because I believe that those whose voice has not been silenced are duty bound to speak for those who have no say, I will fly my flag proudly today and say thank you to those who have given their lives not only to protect America, but to fight for freedom all over the world.