This post is part of the 5-minute Friday link up. We write for just 5 minutes on a one-word prompt and see what happens. No heavy editing, just writing. You can see all the posts from this week on the link up. Here’s what I came up with today with the prompt “decision.”
We have had so many decisions to make over the past, well, year probably. Just about a year ago we had to make the heartbreaking decision to release our beloved kitty Stella to cross the rainbow bridge. We also have her twin sister, Luna, and it tore us apart to watch Stella fail very quickly in just under a week.
But our latest round of decisions was so much harder. Every day there seemed to be some life-altering choice that needed to be made regarding my mother-in-law’s hospital stay. First, should she even go to the hospital? Then came the harder decisions of what kind of treatment would be best? What about rehab? What place? Is she actually getting better? What happens if she is able to go home? And then, when things went further downhill, the questions became Would she want to be on a ventilator? How long do we let this go on?
Ultimately, the hardest decision was to stop all treatment when the future would look like her being hooked up to machines.
And then, just four days after her passing peacefully in the night, my sister-in-law had a heart attack. The decisions her sons had to make for their 63-year-old mom, who previously had been healthy except for some painful foot issues, wrecked us. The ultimate decision to stop life support after learning her brain damage was massive and irreversible left everyone completely drained.
And then we had to plan their service. A myriad more decisions laid in front of us.
Decision fatigue may not be a clinical diagnosis, but those of us who have experienced it know the emotional and physical effects it can have. As we turn the page into a new month, now six weeks removed from our loved ones actual deaths, we focus on rest. There are still some decisions to be made regarding probate and all that, but we’re all together. We can lean on each other and share the load.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2, ESV)
Compelled 
That’s a lot to carry in such a short time.
What stood out to me is how many decisions you had to make for others… over and over again. No wonder you feel drained.
Maybe this is a season where you don’t have to keep deciding so much, but can just… be. Be together, take it one day at a time, let things be a bit quieter.
It sounds like you’re already doing that, leaning on each other. That really is enough right now.
https://preciousbeyond.blogspot.com/
I appreciate your words so much. My husband and I went on a 4-day getaway right after the memorial service. It was supposed to be the tail-end of a month-long trip that had to be postponed because of all that went on. It was good to get away from all the noise for a while.
Hi Stephanie,
I’m grateful to have received your post and be reminded of what you all have been through in recent months. I will continue to pray for you.
Lorna
Thank you so much, Lorna. With Mother’s Day next week, emotions will be raw again!
Great word, Steph! Reminds me of the year with four hurricanes. I had such a hard time thinking clearly. So many decisions to be made, so easy to shut down instead. Yet, as the mom, I had to keep going.
I have no idea what I was even doing that year! Yeah, three kids that all needed me.
So good to hear from you!
I ended up writing about decision fatigue this week too. (Though from a very different angle).
It’s true that some of the hardest, most important seasons are also filled with overwhelming decisions.
I’ll go and have a look at yours.
Even decisions that should be simple, like where do I want to go on our date night tonight, I just can’t seem to make.
Thanks for stopping by.
That’s so true! Sometimes I just want someone besides me to decide for once.