As the last couple of years have been heavy with heartache, I have struggled with anxiety and feeling out of control. I want things to be “right.” I want everything to work out so that everyone is happy and nobody struggles and flowers and rainbows pop up everywhere.
But you know what? Rainbows need the rain. And flowers have to push their way out of the deep, dark earth to struggle their way to the surface where their beauty can be seen.
There are burdens we simply aren’t meant to carry. That’s been my mantra for the past several weeks as we’ve struggled with the choices of one of our children. “Not mine to carry.”
I picture a small child walking side by side with his dad. But on the child’s back is this huge backpack that is bending him low and causing his feet to stumble and his steps to be slow and painful. His father is right there, asking to carry the weight, but the child, willful and stubborn says in his small voice, “I can do it myself!”
How many times do we hear that from our small children? “Do it myself!”
But when we let the Father reach down and take that burden from us, our backs become straighter, our steps lighter, our eyes on the goal rather than the ground.
The consequences of that child’s choices? Not mine to carry.
The fear of the future and what might be in it? Not mine to carry.
If that father with his child chooses to hand him a notebook to carry from that big ol’ backpack, then that’s the father’s choice, and it is to help make the child stronger. But what he gives his child will never be too hard because he’s got the lion’s share. On his strong shoulders the burden is borne.
My job is to pray, to keep my eyes on Jesus, to hope in Him, knowing that He is sovereign and loving and kind.
God wants me to give Him my burdens. He longs for it. He’s so much better at carrying them than I am. I find freedom. He gets glorified.
Win, win.
This post is a part of the Five-Minute Friday linkup. To read more on the prompt “burden” go to www.fiveminutefriday.com
We long to be known. To be loved. To be pursued.
my brother’s house I said to her, “We’ve never been very good at heart-to-heart talks.”
When I started being interested in a guy (who has been my husband now for 27 years plus), my mom never asked me about him. When I asked her why that was, she said she didn’t want to pry. Umm, you’re a mom. That’s your job. It doesn’t make you a busybody; it shows me that you care to know.
Father’s Day is just around the corner. How very appropriate and heartbreaking that the immigrant crisis—children being torn from the very breasts of their mothers—now center stage in our country should be garnering so much notice at this time.
there are better ways to handle the situation. I’m not a fan of illegal immigration, but I am a fan of people. You can’t treat them like animals. They are not cattle or sheep to be separated for slaughter.
In this her first book, Shelly Wildman encourages parents to engage in intentional discipleship, positioning your kids to follow Jesus as they grow in independence. By asking why we do the things we do, we’re taking a closer look at our efforts as a family.
and here’s what you’ll get in the end.’ But I don’t believe we can parent by formula. I think we have to look at our unique family and ask why.
Shelly Wildman is a former writing instructor and author of the forthcoming book First Ask Why: Raising Kids to Love God Through Intentional Discipleship (Kregel). Shelly holds degrees from Wheaton College (BA) and University of Illinois at Chicago (MA), but her most important life’s work has been raising her three adult daughters. She and her husband, Brian, have been married for 32 years and live in Wheaton, IL. Shelly speaks to women’s groups in the Chicago area and spends much of her free time mentoring young women. When she has time, she loves to cook, read, and travel.
You often hear the saying, “Parenting isn’t for cowards.” Oh, how true that statement is. Even if your kids aren’t running off the rails, there are challenges and fears and missteps all along the way.
who you are. When you accept this, you’ll be more peaceful, confident, and free as each child walks out the door.”
In many ways, our clinging to our kids can be a detriment to them. Yoder says, “Our children need permission to say no to our expectations so they can say yes to God’s gifts and callings.”
