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Worth The Risk

Feb21

This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up. We write for just 5 minutes on a one-word prompt, with no heavy editing, and see what happens. Today’s prompt is “risk.”

 

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On March 2nd, my husband and I will be celebrating 29 years of marriage. I am thiiiis close to having been married longer than I was single. That’s a really weird feeling.

Before we began officially dating, I had what I now identify as dating anxiety. Whenever I would be out on a date—rare though that was—I would get clammy hands, my heart would race, and I would feel nauseous. Classic anxiety symptoms, right?

So when David, came along, I vowed to treat our relationship like any other friendship, hoping to forestall those same feelings. One need not get anxious with a friend, right?

Right. That worked for a little while, but, you know, he was cute. And kind. And funny.

But still, I didn’t know if he would be worth the risk.

But we talked about my anxious feelings, and I could be more open with him than I could with anyone else ever. And eventually our friendship blossomed into romance. I had some anxious moments, but because I could be honest with him and say, “Hey, I’m feeling anxious right now,” I was able to deal with those feelings and let God heal me from them.

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29 years of marriage later, I can say definitively that it was worth the risk. He is my best friend. I can still tell him anything and he’s still cute. And funny. Just with a few more (OK, a lot more) gray hairs.

 

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Still

Dec14

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I wander

Oh, how far I wander

But still You remain

Watching, waiting, loving

Looking for my return.

I turn away from You

But still You remain

I am unfaithful to You

But still You remain

 

I rail at You

But still You remain

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I go my own way

Do my own thing

Make my own choices

But still You remain

I shake my fist, dare You to stop me from doing what I want to do.

It doesn’t matter. You love me still. You will never leave me. You will never forsake me.

Every day you watch out for me, waiting for me to notice that You’re still there.

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“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up. Check it out!

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The Pursuit of a Heart

Aug17

Neuroscientist Curt Thompson has said that each one of us comes into this world looking for someone looking for us.

IMG_9760We long to be known. To be loved. To be pursued.

Thompson goes on to say, “We can grow up in homes in which the food finds the table, the money finds the college funds and the family even finds the church each Sunday, but somehow our hearts remain undiscovered by the 2 people we most need to know us: Our parents.” (Quoted by Adam Young LCSW in a podcast titled “Why your family of origin impacts your life more than anything else” April 16, 2018.)

I was the 3rd child in just over 3 years for my parents. That’s rough on anyone. I don’t have specific memories of my very young years, so I can’t say with absolute certainty that my parents were thrilled to welcome another baby into a home already hopping with a 3 year old and a 19-month old.

I never felt unloved, but I did feel undiscovered.

12 years ago I was with my mom the week after my dad died. Returning from dinner atIMG_9761 my brother’s house I said to her, “We’ve never been very good at heart-to-heart talks.”

She said, “No, we haven’t.”

And that was the end of the conversation. 16 months later she passed away from pancreatic cancer.

I determined when I became a mom that I would have open and honest conversations with my children. I would answer their questions no matter how embarrassing they might be. I would pursue their hearts. I would get in their business.

IMG_9762When I started being interested in a guy (who has been my husband now for 27 years plus), my mom never asked me about him. When I asked her why that was, she said she didn’t want to pry. Umm, you’re a mom. That’s your job. It doesn’t make you a busybody; it shows me that you care to know.

My mom loved me. I know that. But she didn’t pursue my heart. I don’t think she really knew how.

I don’t hold it against her, I’d just like to do better with my kids. Their hearts are worth knowing as deeply as they’ll let me know them.

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This post is a part of the Five-Minute Friday link up. Join the fun!

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These 3 Remain

Jul27

IMG_5453“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV).

These famous words, often heard in wedding ceremonies, can easily get lost in the familiarity of them. But their significance, penned by the Apostle Paul prompted by the Holy Spirit, could radically change the way we do things.

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a resounding gong or a clanging symbol.” (v. 1)

That means if I go and feed the homeless, they might get fed, but if I don’t sincerely love them and desire to build a relationship there, then it really means nothing.

If I serve my family by making a delicious organic dinner every night, but I grumble about having to go grocery shopping or slaving over that hot stove, then that food might as well be poison in their bellies. Yes, it will sustain their bodies, but what will it have done for their souls?

These 3 remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.IMG_0654

Faith: taking God at His word. Not just believing IN God, but believing God. Believing what He says about me, about the worth of others, about salvation and redemption and grace.

Hope: to know that the future is in His hands, that there is a better place prepared for us, that God wins in the end.

And Love: powerful, redemptive, coverer or our sin. If we don’t have it, all else fails.

It wasn’t just a song of the 60’s; it was a truism: What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.

 

This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up, with the prompt of “Thirteen.” Join the fun!

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The Sound of the Ocean

Jun22

IMG_3895Crashing waves on a foamy shore

Wash away all that went before

Words carved into sand by little feet

Can’t compare with the power they meet

Pounding, pounding all day long

The waves bespeak the Creator’s song

Come to Me, come to Me, all is behind
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You are always on My mind.

See the sand washed clear each day?

That’s what happens when sin’s washed away.

There is no reason to stay afar

I love you so much the way you are.

Let me wash you like I do the shore

Your sins I will remember no more

Let the sound of the ocean tell you it’s true

No matter what, I love you.

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This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up. Join the fun!