The Blessing Of An Unhurried Life

IMG_2437Every family has experienced it. The frantic rush in the morning to get everyone where they’re supposed to be going. Do the kids all have their homework? Is their lunch packed? Where are their shoes. Hurry! The school bus will be here any minute!

Stick a PopTart in the toaster, gulp down a glass of milk, and run out the door. Barely time for a hug and a kiss, let alone sweet words that might fill their souls for the day.

Sound familiar?

Do you hate living that way?

Is it only on vacation that a slower, unhurried pace of life can happen?

There’s a saying: the hurrier I go the behinder I get.P1000562

Last year we made the decision with the full agreement and enthusiasm of our 15-year-old daughter to have her enroll in virtual school. That means that we don’t have a 5:30 wake up to make sure she gets to a 6:20 bus. Our mornings are calm, later and unhurried. It’s a huge blessing.

As I look closer at living an unhurried lifestyle, I see it as giving ourselves room to breathe. I know that not everyone can make the same decisions we have, but I would encourage everyone to take a look at those hurried and harried times and see if there’s any way to bring some peace to them.

Can lunches be made and backpacks packed the night before? Can clothes be laid out? Shoes put by the door? Pre-made breakfasts be ready to go?

IMG_1888I have a daughter who is not a morning person, so she made some of these choices herself as she grew, and I certainly know that not all children will fit well into this mould.

But if you’re finding yourself getting frazzled before the day has barely begun, give some thought to how you might give yourself and your family some breathing room.

 

This post is part of the Five Minute Friday link up. Join the fun!

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Let Us Reason Together

IMG_6772Today is election day here in Florida, so I thought it might be appropriate to talk about “reason” as today’s 10-Minute Tuesday post.

I didn’t choose it; that really happens to be the prompt for today.

“Come now, let us reason together” (Isaiah 1:18) seems like a good thing to do, doesn’t it? Only in today’s fractured and splintered world, “reason” seems to be the last thing people want to do.

Yell. Rant. Accuse. Complain. Those all seem to be more what people are doing these days. Fake news. Twitter politics. Innuendos instead of facts. We have lost our ability to talk to each other and listen. Especially listen.

I remember more than a decade ago when my church wanted to buy property across theIMG_3843 street from my house. Which happens also to be right across the street from a large church of another denomination. We had to go through a rezoning process, which should have been fairly clear cut.

But a large contingent from the other church decided to appear at the zoning meeting to try to get the project cancelled. Their “reasoning” was that another church would create a traffic problem since they themselves wanted to expand their facility to include a retirement center and day care and other things of that nature. So, we shouldn’t move in because they wanted to expand.

I remember sitting there and praying that someone on the zoning commission would hear past the rhetoric to what was really going on. I was glad to note that one of the commissioners addressed that very issue. You want to expand, so you don’t want another church moving in.

IMG_8307Our request was granted that day, and we have been in our building for more than 12 years now. The other church has yet to do their expansion. We live fairly peaceably with each other.

I tell that story to illustrate that we need to listen to the whole story. We need to see what we’re not seeing. We need to be patient and ask good questions and not jump to wild conclusions.

As Civil Rights activist John M. Perkins says in a 2015 article in The Table, “I believe today, God is calling us to come and reason together. In a land marked by the sins of racism, sexism, and all the other –isms, where we can’t disagree without also hating one another, it is time to have some meaningful dialogue. It is time for a new conversation.”

 

No Bandwagon Fan

IMG_8043It’s baseball season, in case you didn’t know. And my team, the Oakland Athletics, is in the thick of a pennant race.

At the beginning of the season, nobody thought they would be able to do anything, especially against the powerhouse 2017 champion Houston Astros. But, the naysayers were proved wrong and we are neck-and-neck with the Astros.

I’ve been an A’s fan since 1968, the year both the team and my family moved to Oakland. Being 2,000 miles away has been one of the hardest things for me about living in Florida. But, thanks to modern technology and a little thing called the internet, I am able to remain loyal to my team, watching nearly every game on MLB.tv.

I’ve also been a Golden State Warriors fan forever, even when they were perennial cellarIMG_8028 dwellers. When they started their winning ways several seasons ago, I was thrilled.

Does it bother me that some “fans” just like to jump on the bandwagon of a winning team? Yes, yes it does. If you can’t stay with them in the hard times, why should you suddenly care when they become winners?

I’m thinking Jesus had some bandwagon fans. When he was the hero, healing people and doing other miraculous works, they were yelling their “hosannas.” But the minute he was arrested and nailed to that tree, suddenly they were nowhere to be found.

Don’t be a bandwagon fan.

 

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More Than Enough

Today’s 10-Minute Tuesday prompt is “enough.”

IMG_0090We have an old black Lab, Berkeley, who is a big barker. He will go on and on for no apparent reason. Our house is on a cul de sac and we have a yard that goes all the way around the corner, so he can see every activity on the streets surrounding us.

And every movement is a threat, apparently.

We have tried many things to get him to stop, to no avail. Our latest effort is for everyone to use the same language all the time when he starts barking. We say, “That’s enough.”

It doesn’t do much good; he just keeps barking. What we seem to be saying when we’re saying “that’s enough” is “stop your incessant barking!”

Moms will say to their kids, “I’ve had enough of your constant fighting!” What she’sIMG_4195 actually saying is “I was done with it way before this.”

A bartender will say, “I think you’ve had enough, buddy.” What that means is, again, too much. I gotta cut you off.

But when we say that Jesus is enough, it turns the whole thing around to mean more than we’ll ever need. More than we would even think to ask for. Able in every way to meet our greatest needs.

CIMG5454And then there’s us. We are enough. We don’t need to add to who we are. We don’t need to be something we’re not. We need to think of ourselves as being everything that we are supposed to be. We have value because we are image bearers of God. We amount to something.

It’s important to see the context of the word. We are never less than enough; Jesus is always more than enough.

And my dog still barks way more than I want him to.

The Pursuit of a Heart

Neuroscientist Curt Thompson has said that each one of us comes into this world looking for someone looking for us.

IMG_9760We long to be known. To be loved. To be pursued.

Thompson goes on to say, “We can grow up in homes in which the food finds the table, the money finds the college funds and the family even finds the church each Sunday, but somehow our hearts remain undiscovered by the 2 people we most need to know us: Our parents.” (Quoted by Adam Young LCSW in a podcast titled “Why your family of origin impacts your life more than anything else” April 16, 2018.)

I was the 3rd child in just over 3 years for my parents. That’s rough on anyone. I don’t have specific memories of my very young years, so I can’t say with absolute certainty that my parents were thrilled to welcome another baby into a home already hopping with a 3 year old and a 19-month old.

I never felt unloved, but I did feel undiscovered.

12 years ago I was with my mom the week after my dad died. Returning from dinner atIMG_9761 my brother’s house I said to her, “We’ve never been very good at heart-to-heart talks.”

She said, “No, we haven’t.”

And that was the end of the conversation. 16 months later she passed away from pancreatic cancer.

I determined when I became a mom that I would have open and honest conversations with my children. I would answer their questions no matter how embarrassing they might be. I would pursue their hearts. I would get in their business.

IMG_9762When I started being interested in a guy (who has been my husband now for 27 years plus), my mom never asked me about him. When I asked her why that was, she said she didn’t want to pry. Umm, you’re a mom. That’s your job. It doesn’t make you a busybody; it shows me that you care to know.

My mom loved me. I know that. But she didn’t pursue my heart. I don’t think she really knew how.

I don’t hold it against her, I’d just like to do better with my kids. Their hearts are worth knowing as deeply as they’ll let me know them.

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