Tag Archive | marriage

How Do I Love Thee?

sc0079bb1fToday is my 22nd anniversary. Seems like such a short time ago that I was writing about my 21st anniversary. My, how time flies. I have a wonderful husband who loves me more than I ever thought anyone would love me. Here’s 22 reasons I love him, too.

1. He’s a man after God’s own heart

2. He likes to hang out with his family

3. He’s really smart

4. I never have to worry about where he is or what he’s doing

5. He’s handsome

6. He, without hesitation, took in his mother nearly 4 years ago when his parents separated

7. He doesn’t hold onto a grudge

8. He’s a hard worker

9. He sends me sappy lyrics from country songs

10. He has a servant’s heart

11. He’s not a complainer

12. He cares about keeping up his health

13. He lets us have pets even though he doesn’t like them

14. He puts up with the messiness of life without nagging

15. He puts up with me 🙂

16. He’s musical

17. He’s funny (though he says I never laugh at his jokes)

18. He’s generous

19. He’s a great dad

20. He likes to bake

21. He’s loyal

22. He loves me!

I could go on, but I wanted to share 22 things on our 22nd anniversary. I love you, David Reeves, and I’m so glad we’re doing this thing called life together.

Parental Guidance–a movie review

parental guidanceOn one of our recent dates, my 10-year-old daughter and I went to see the movie “Parental Guidance,” which stars Billy Crystal and Bette Midler. A friend had given it rave reviews, so I thought we’d give it a try. I was not disappointed.

The story revolves around Artie, a minor-league baseball broadcaster, and his wife, Diane, an eager grandmother who doesn’t meet her high-control daughter’s standards for proper upbringing. When the daughter, Alice (played by Marissa Tomei), and her husband find themselves in need of a babysitter for a week, she reluctantly calls on her parents.

The resulting antics are pretty hilarious: The kids, who aren’t given sugar by their parents, are given an ice cream cake by their Grandpa, who doesn’t get why such rules are in place, with the expected results. The youngest, Barker, who has an invisible kangaroo friend named Carl, gets into all sorts of situations resulting in many laughs. A confrontation by Artie with the speech teacher for the stuttering Turner and by Diane with the violin teacher for granddaughter, Harper, and the disparity of parenting styles is painfully apparent.

But the hilarity was not what impressed me most about the movie; it was the fact that Artie and Diane are committed to each other after 35 years of marriage. That was refreshing, coming from Hollywood. Diane asserts that she wants to become important in the lives of her grandchildren. She’s asking Artie, who had just been sacked by the baseball team for which he had worked for decades, to be on his best behavior for the week, knowing his antics could get them in hot water with their daughter. Artie tries, he really does, but his innate outspokenness and self-absorption gets him in trouble sometimes.

Like when they take the kids to Turner’s baseball game and learn that they don’t keep score in this league. For a baseball purist like Artie, that’s sheer foolishness. And he makes that clear to the gathered parents around him, many of whom agree.

Confronting Artie’s selfishness one night, Diane says to him, basically, “I’ve supported you for 35 years without complaint (well, with a little complaint), and all I asked of you was this one week to be about the kids. It’s not about you, Artie. It’s not about you.”

One of the sweetest scenes in the film was when Artie comes home from just having lost his job, and Diane tells him that he’s the best baseball announcer in the business and they really messed up when they let him go. Her love and support of him were genuine and she didn’t belittle him or make him feel like a failure.

Besides Artie and Diane’s impromptu song and dance to “Who Wrote the Book of Love” in the middle of the kitchen, the scene that struck me the most was a conversation between Diane and Alice. Alice wants to argue with her mom about something Artie did, but then she says, “No, you’ll just take his side. You always take his side.”

Diane’s answer is poignant: “That’s right, and you know why? Because when the kids are all grown up, it’s the husband who stays.”

In this kid-centric society we live in, where marriages are a dime a dozen, giving priority to your spouse is not a very popular modus operandi, but oh, how important it is.

Thanks, producer Billy Crystal and the rest of the “Parental Guidance” gang for giving such a positive, funny, tear-inducing picture of what marriage and family is all about: not perfection, but commitment and love.

You can read Plugged In’s review here.

Thankful today for:

841. the ability to sit outside in shorts and a T-shirt on a middle-of-February day

842. able-bodied helpers around the house

843. a late 14th-birthday celebration dinner

844. enthusiasm

845. new pants for $5

846. a hardworking husband

847. Linky parties 🙂

848. the opportunity to post on other peoples blogs

849. guest posts on my blog (hopefully coming soon)

850. God’s provision

Speaking the Same Language

I attended the wedding of my friend Danielle yesterday. Hers is a pretty fun story: she met her husband on a mission trip in Brazil. He wasn’t supposed to be on the trip, but at the last minute, his plans changed and he went along. Something clicked for them on that week-long trip down the Amazon River and, just a short time later, via Skype, they became engaged. He’s Brazilian, she’s American. They have a lot to learn about each other in the days ahead, and they have a language barrier to overcome. But they both know that God brought them together, and keeping Him in the center of their lives will make all the difference.

David and I are approaching 22 years on our marriage journey. We still have a lot to learn also. We might both speak English, but we don’t always understand each other. Dani and Jose know that they have to be patient in order to understand each other. David and I assume we’re speaking the same language, and therefore get frustrated when one or the other of us doesn’t understand.

Maybe if we all went into marriage knowing that we have a communication gap to overcome, we’d be a lot better off. Here are a couple of examples of what women say and what we really mean. I pulled these off the website Funny2.com

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of “those” arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

NOTHING: This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and will end with the word “Fine.”

We can laugh at those things, but real communication does take work, no matter how long you’ve been married–or even if you’re not married. All relationships take communication if they are to grow.

I had a conversation with my 10-year-old daughter last night. She had said some things that made a friend feel uncomfortable, and she needs to make a phone call today to talk to her about it and apologize. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. Training a child to have those difficult conversations is one of the most important things a parent can do. She will have that conversation today, and I will help her. Maybe I can learn something myself along the way.

Thankful today for:

650. weddings

651. breaks from school

652. dates (the going-out kind, not the eating kind)

653. music

654. flowers

655. tasty food that others prepare

656. wonderful trips my friends get to take

657. photos from afar

658. French toast on a Sunday morning

The Day It All Began

We had talked about getting married, but when he actually “popped the question,” I was surprised. I thought we had decided to wait until fall. He didn’t want to leave me wondering while he spent almost two months in the Soviet Union.

I had never had a boyfriend before. At the ripe old age of 28, I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen. Then I saw him.

It wasn’t love at first sight. He had a beard–I’m not fond of beards. But there was something about his eyes that drew me. He was working in the building next to mine. Soon after I first saw him, he moved in with two of my friends from college. And he shaved his beard. What was handy in the mountains of North Carolina was only irritating in the heat of So. Cal.

We became friends. But that’s all we were. Until it became more. One night after hours of talking, he said to me, “The more time I spend with you, the more I like you.” I’d never had anyone say that to me before. I allowed my heart to hope.

Another day, driving down the highway to pick up something from the office, he grabbed my hand and asked,”What would you think if I did this?” My answer: “I would say that you better not be doing that with any other girl.”

A week, a few weeks, a month (I really can’t remember how long) later, he said, “I don’t want to date anyone but you.”

I had already determined that in my mind long before. Now, it was official. Six months later, on June 12, 1990, he invited me to go up to Arrowhead Springs, the former international headquarters of Campus Crusade for Christ, for a small picnic before he left for the U.S.S.R.

As we sat on the lawn overlooking the smoggy city of San Bernardino, Calif., on a red-checked tablecloth with a book of poetry and a bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling cider, we decided to close our time with a prayer. In the middle of praying, he said, “Hold on a minute, God.” I thought he was getting choked up. Instead, he lifted my chin with his hand. I opened my eyes and looked into his. He had a small black box in his hand. He said something along the lines of, “Will you marry me?” I laughed and said something along the lines of, “Are you serious?” And quickly followed up with something along the lines of, “Yes!”

That was 22 years ago. And I would still say yes today. Even if I knew that everything would stay the same as it has been. It’s not like a do-over. He is God’s gift to me, and I am more than grateful.

Happy engagement anniversary, Hunny! Thanks for asking. 🙂

 

 

 

Thankful today for:

366. My husband

367. Happy memories

368. A sleepover nearly every night for the past 21+ years with my best friend

Waiting on God

I consider myself an OK waiter, meaning that if I have to wait for something, depending on what it is, I usually can do it pretty well. Standing in line at amusement parks, waiting for something to come in the mail, stuff like that. But when it comes to the big things–waiting for a husband, to have children, to get a new electronic gadget that I just can’t live without–those things aren’t always easy. And God doesn’t work on my time schedule, apparently. Obviously.

Recently, my brother-in-law Ron lost his job. We’re talking a month ago. Tuesday, he got a new job. Wow. Not only that, it’s a good job, not just a something-to-tide-me-over kind of job. My sister reports that he said it has everything he was looking for in a professional environment. Again, wow.

They were settling in for the long haul. We know people who have been out of work for months and months and months. Is Ron holier than all those other people who just think they’re trusting God, but obviously they’re not or God would have provided for them already? I think not. And I’m sure my sister and brother-in-law would agree.

Isaiah 55:8 says, “’For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the LORD.” We cannot fathom the ways of the Lord.

I didn’t get married until I was 29. I have friends who married at 19 or 20. I wanted to get married younger. Why didn’t God act sooner?

I didn’t have my first child until I was 35. I surely didn’t plan that one. Unwed teenagers have unwanted children all the time. Why didn’t God let me and David have one of those years before?

I want a red Mustang convertible. Other people have red Mustang convertibles. How come I can’t have one? OK. Maybe that’s not the best question to ask. Forget that one.

Point is, God does not act the same way twice. Just as every person is unique, every way that God deals with each person is unique. As Aslan the lion in the Chronicles of Narnia series is fond of saying, He’s telling us our story, no one else’s. What He does with someone else really is not our business.

It’s His. And He’s very good at it.

Thankful today for:

225. My story

226. potential

227. a new job for my brother-in-law

228. creativity

229. new songs

230. corrective lenses