Tag Archive | kids

Time Keeps on Slippin’, Slippin’, Slippin’

Aug20

I sent my baby boy off for his sophomore year of high school today. He won’t like the fact that I called him my baby boy. Plus, he’s taller than I am now. But it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t read my blog anyway. Sigh. Last night I asked him if he wanted me to get up and say goodbye to him in the morning (which is a BIG sacrifice for me, since he needs to leave the house at 6:45 or so to catch his bus at 6:52). He said no. Then he added, “You can if you want to.” So when I woke up at 6:47 and asked my husband if he had heard him, and he told me he hadn’t, I went to his room to check.

Yep, there he was snoozing away. 5 minutes until the bus arrived at a 3-minute-walk-away bus stop. Wasn’t gonna happen. So, being the kind mother that I am, I drove him. Got him there 3 minutes before the bell for first period. I don’t think he made it. But, I was guessing they were giving grace on the first day of school. But what a way to start.

So, my big, strong Air Force officer wannabe son still needs his momma. Whether he wants to admit it or not.

My desire to hang on, to make sure he has everything he needs for the day, that he hasn’t left anything behind, is hard to break. Last year I stopped myself from checking that he had his athletic shoes for an ROTC field day that he was attending. He had to wear his uniform there, but then change into PT clothes later on. Turns out, he forgot the shoes. The result? Major blisters and torn skin on the soles of his feet for his error. Lesson learned? I think so. But it’s hard to see your children suffer the consequences, isn’t it?

But what’s that saying? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? I bet he won’t be forgetting his shoes again.

When we go to a restaurant, my husband is telling me, let him ask the questions. Don’t baby him. But not asking the right questions can have physical consequences as he is severely allergic to dairy products. And I have more experience knowing what to ask. And what if he doesn’t have his allergy medicine with him? And, and, and.

Let it go. Cut the apron strings. He’s a big boy now.

Wrong. He’s still my baby.

Thankful today for:

561. growing independence

562. a new computer coming

563. approaching fall

What Would I Do Without You?

May12

Although I haven’t touched them for nearly two years, I am a scrapbooker. Once I began teaching, I just haven’t been able to save any mental space for working on my books. I’ll get back to them some day. But this was a quote I put in one of the early books for my kids:

“You are the trip I did not take;

You are the pearls I cannot buy;

You are my blue Italian lake;

You are my piece of foreign sky.”

This is from a poem by Anne Campbell. It speaks to me.

Motherhood, it seems, is all about sacrifice. Of course there are benefits, but often those don’t come until later. My friend Judy posted a poignant blog about the gifts her children have given her (read it here). I agree with every one of her points, although my life looks vastly different from hers. My kids are all still at home. Every day there is something that goes on that means I have to give up something that I would rather be doing. And yet, in raising my kids, there really is nothing that I would rather be doing.

Do I enjoy the silence in the house when they’re all off to school? Yes. But if the continued silence means I didn’t have the kids, I far prefer the chaos.

Do I wish that for even a day the house could stay clean? Yes. But if cleanliness meant my house was empty, then what’s a few dust bunnies? (OK, more than a few.)

Would I like to look out on a pristine yard? Who wouldn’t? But if nice grass meant no wild sword fights or games of fetch with the dog, then I welcome the lived-in look of the warn path the dog has made madly chasing his beloved ball.

My friend Ronnie once told me a house should be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. I have taken that on as my personal slogan.

Do I pester my kids about picking up and quieting down? Yes. But honestly, what would I do without them? They are my true Mother’s Day gift.

But I’m still looking forward to that steak dinner promised to me tomorrow.

Thankful today for:

270. the gift of See’s chocolate from my friend Lynn

271. waking up early on a day I could have slept in

272. 12 more days of school

273. a great first year of high school for my eldest

274. the cardinal couple that occasionally flits through our yard

275. that the alligators decide to wait until after our day in the lake to make their appearance

276. the pitter patter of little feet (and some not so little anymore)

277. family prayer

278. photographs

Of Harry Potter and The Hunger Games

Mar25

What do Harry Potter and The Hunger Games have in common? This is what I notice:

–they both started out as books

–they were both written by women

–the central characters in both series are young

–they are both phenomenally successful

–they both have been denounced by members of the Christian community.

Let me say right now that I would not be one of those members.

On the website http://www.credenda.org, the writer, Douglas Wilson, in a review of “The Hunger Games,” states:

“In short, when you have the privilege of setting up all the circumstances artificially, in order to give your protagonist no real choice about whether to sin or not, it is a pretty safe bet that a whole lot of people in a relativistic country, including the Christians in it unfortunately, won’t notice.”

The gist of the article was that we shouldn’t let our kids watch this movie, or read the book. Wilson says, “But in terms of helping Christian young people set their minds and hearts on that which is noble and right, we can’t even give it one star.”

As a writer, and a follower of Jesus, I can see that I have an obligation to help my readers become better people. But if you are coming from a worldview that does not acknowledge God (and I’m not saying either Suzanne Collins or J.K. Rowling fall into that camp), then you can’t be held to that standard. What these stories do is give parents a chance to actually have meaningful conversations with their kids about what they’re reading.

I have read the Harry Potter series and loved it. I thought the character development was wonderful, the plot amazingly complex and the pace fast and exciting.

I have not yet read The Hunger Games, but I’m fixin’ to, as soon as Justin puts it down.

I talk to my kids about what they read and the worldview adhered to therein. We give them a solid foundation at home and make sure we keep our lines of communication open. I know what they’re reading, I know who their friends are, I have a relationship with my children. I filter the things they can read and watch, but I don’t prohibit all that does not follow the worldview we espouse. Our school calls this living in a wildlife refuge versus a hothouse. They’re exposed to some of the things out there in the world, but protected while they’re at it.

There’s a scene in the second Harry Potter book, The Chamber of Secrets, that holds a great truth. Harry is talking to Professor Dumbledore and is quite concerned about some things that Tom Riddle said to him. He’s afraid he might be like Tom, who is the epitome of evil. In the course of the conversation, the professor helps Harry think through the process that the Sorting Hat went through to put him into the house of Gryffindor. This is what the author said that I thought was so profound:

“‘It only put me in Gryffindor,’ said Harry in a defeated voice, ‘because I asked not to go in Slytherin. . . .’

“‘Exactly,’ said Dumbledore, beaming once more. ‘Which make you very different from Tom Riddle. It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.'”

Romans 7: 15-25 talks about this dilemma: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

“So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

Harry Potter and his friends do not acknowledge God. The powers they have simply come from within themselves. What a great opportunity to talk to our kids about sin and righteousness and God’s grace.

The Hunger Games  puts young people in an ethical dilemma: kill or be killed. What a great chance to talk to our kids about moral absolutes and where that comes from and how God is not just the giver of life, but Life Himself.

And then pray that those who write things our kids love would begin to see things from God’s perspective.

Thankful today for:

138. Homemade pizza

139. The end of a good book

140. A new book to read at the ready

Faithful in the Little Things

Mar7

Recently, our vacuum cleaner broke. And, life being what it is, we couldn’t go right out and get it fixed. If we had a carpeted house, a few days, or maybe even a week of not vacuuming wouldn’t seem like all that big a deal. But nearly our entire house–save two of our smaller bedrooms–is hardwood or ceramic tile. And we have a big, black dog and a white and black cat. After just a day, the hair drifts are ankle high.

Daily vacuuming of pet hair is a kid chore, as is daily cleanup of the dog’s business in the backyard, the litter box in the garage, wiping down of the kids’ bathroom and setting and clearing of the table for dinner.

If any one of those things doesn’t get done, the affect is cumulative. Thus the ankle-deep drifts.

No amount of nagging gets me buy-in. So I’m taking it up a notch–if chores aren’t done, allowance is affected. No more Mrs. Nice-gal. Be faithful in the little things and you will be given more.

Matthew 25:14-30 tells the parable of the talents. Verse 21 says, “Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Master.”

What’s that old saying? If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Momma’s not been too happy with the lack-luster attitude about chores, so we’ll see if this new standard works. I made them all sign a contract. Day one down. We’ll see how the rest of the week goes. This is life lessons, folks. If you don’t do the job, you don’t get paid. If you don’t do it well, you don’t keep the job. But even more so, it’s what God desires out of us. Do all things heartily, without complaining, as if God was your boss. Because, in the end, He really is.

Thankful today for:

87. a normal temperature for my middle child

88. a youth group my kids love

89. old TV shows

You Care, I Can Tell

Feb11

My kids know whether I really care about something they’re talking about, showing me or doing. If my attention is not completely on them, or if I’m not quite enthusiastic enough with my “I like it!” or “Way to go!” they accuse me of not liking it or not caring about whatever “it” may be.

I have a tendency toward laziness, so if I really don’t have a genuine concern or care for someone, then it’s easy for me not to do something about their need or pain. And I can tend toward grumbling about the things I have to do as a wife and mother to take care of my family: more laundry, another meal, more homework to correct.

But if I genuinely care, then all those things should flow out of that caring.

Our theme at school this year has been “Love in Action.” “And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother” (1 John 4:21 NIV84).

Helping a friend reroof his house.

Taking care of a friend’s kids when they are delayed getting to school to pick them up.

Taking another friend’s son back up to his high school campus to pick up his clarinet that he left there, because he has a competition the next day and your friend is at a hair appointment with her three other children.

Paying undivided attention to your child when she’s talking about something you might not really care about, but you care about her.

These aren’t huge things (well, reroofing a house is huge). But they are showing love. And those for whom you do it can tell.

13. Warm winters

14. Working with good friends so that an all-day Saturday work day isn’t torturous

15. Dinner cooking in the crockpot