What Would I Do Without You?

May12

Although I haven’t touched them for nearly two years, I am a scrapbooker. Once I began teaching, I just haven’t been able to save any mental space for working on my books. I’ll get back to them some day. But this was a quote I put in one of the early books for my kids:

“You are the trip I did not take;

You are the pearls I cannot buy;

You are my blue Italian lake;

You are my piece of foreign sky.”

This is from a poem by Anne Campbell. It speaks to me.

Motherhood, it seems, is all about sacrifice. Of course there are benefits, but often those don’t come until later. My friend Judy posted a poignant blog about the gifts her children have given her (read it here). I agree with every one of her points, although my life looks vastly different from hers. My kids are all still at home. Every day there is something that goes on that means I have to give up something that I would rather be doing. And yet, in raising my kids, there really is nothing that I would rather be doing.

Do I enjoy the silence in the house when they’re all off to school? Yes. But if the continued silence means I didn’t have the kids, I far prefer the chaos.

Do I wish that for even a day the house could stay clean? Yes. But if cleanliness meant my house was empty, then what’s a few dust bunnies? (OK, more than a few.)

Would I like to look out on a pristine yard? Who wouldn’t? But if nice grass meant no wild sword fights or games of fetch with the dog, then I welcome the lived-in look of the warn path the dog has made madly chasing his beloved ball.

My friend Ronnie once told me a house should be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. I have taken that on as my personal slogan.

Do I pester my kids about picking up and quieting down? Yes. But honestly, what would I do without them? They are my true Mother’s Day gift.

But I’m still looking forward to that steak dinner promised to me tomorrow.

Thankful today for:

270. the gift of See’s chocolate from my friend Lynn

271. waking up early on a day I could have slept in

272. 12 more days of school

273. a great first year of high school for my eldest

274. the cardinal couple that occasionally flits through our yard

275. that the alligators decide to wait until after our day in the lake to make their appearance

276. the pitter patter of little feet (and some not so little anymore)

277. family prayer

278. photographs

Family Sized

May9

Our family went out for dinner last night to celebrate my mother-in-law’s birthday. At the counter of the salad-bar restaurant, I was struck by something that I often see or hear: Posted on the glass was a coupon for a discount for a family meal. So what, right? Well, to them, “family” meant 2 adults and 2 kids. If you had more than that, you couldn’t get the discount. In our family, we happen to have 3 kids and 3 adults, as David’s mom lives with us. But even if extended family like that didn’t count, we’d be over their limit.

So why did this bother me last night as opposed to all the other times I’ve seen it? Well, I’ve been bothered by it before when I’ve heard a local radio station give away “family 4 packs.” I never try to win those prizes, because then I’d be leaving someone out. Even Disney World, the “happiest place on earth,” gets in on the conspiracy: If your child wins the Disney Doers and Dreamers award at their school, they only get 4 tickets to the park. If my child wins, which family member gets left out?

This might be pushing things a bit, but it spoke to me of how our society as a whole does not value children. Look at all the flack the Duggars have taken. Amongst my friends, we often joke about how outnumbered we are. The mom of one of my students recently invited all the teachers of her 3 boys to dinner at their house. They are new to our school, but wanted to keep the tradition they had started when their first child started school. Only, in the past, their boys had each had one teacher, and some of them were single, or older with no kids still at home. This year, their kids each have two teachers, and each of us has more than the requisite 2 kids. In fact, when added all together, the 6 of us have 23 kids.

Yes, family size is a choice–although sometimes it’s just God’s choice, not the choice of the family who might have wanted more, but God allowed them fewer for whatever reason–but wouldn’t it be great to see some advertisement or coupon stating that, whatever the size of your family, you get the discount? Why not just a “family pack,” adjusted to whatever size your family happens to be? Why doesn’t Disney just award a certificate for “family entry”? They could specify that it’s limited to nuclear families only. Now, granted, Disney doesn’t have to give away anything, and I should be grateful for what they do, but it’s just another of those subtle way of saying “smaller families are better.”

Most people I hear are appalled at the family-size limitations China dictates, but we get the same message in a more subtle way. My friend who just had her 6th kid hears, Are they all yours?” Like that’s just crazy.

Am I overreacting? Maybe. What do you think?

Psalm 127:3-5: “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”

Thankful today for:

264. my 3 children

265. the rain

266. finding muffins in the refrigerator

267. a day off after an emotionally hard day

268. seeing God’s provision after I labor over our budget

269. the kids’ excitement over a hailstorm in the spring

Truth, if you Dare

May7

There’s a saying in journalism circles: If your mother says she loves you, check it out.

Years ago, I was assigned a story about a man who was then very old living in Phoenix. Apparently, he had been a gangster in Chicago way back in the day of Al Capone and his ilk. But God had gotten ahold of his heart and he had experienced a dramatic change in his life.

So I was sent by the magazine to check out his story. What I heard was an amazing tale of organized crime activity and redemption. But, of course, being the good journalist that I was, I had to verify these stories.

This was in the days before the Internet, so a simple Google search for any corroborating newspaper articles or anything was not possible. So I went to the library and did things the old-fashioned way: microfiche.

Boy, was that painstaking–and fruitless. I simply couldn’t find any evidence that what this sweet old man had told me was true. It made me feel a little better that his family wasn’t all that sure it was true either.

Nowadays, with all kinds of information right at our fingertips, we still have to be careful about what we believe. Websites like truthorfiction.com and snopes exist to help dispel erumors, but not even they can catch everything.

And wonderful tool that it can be, Photoshop has made even the statement “pictures don’t lie” untrue. Just take a look at the National Enquirer if you have any doubts about that.

So, when Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth and the life,” how can we trust that? Check it out. Read the Bible and test and see if anything He’s ever said has not been true. Joyce Meyers says this, “Believing what others say rather than exploring God’s Word for yourself will actually limit you and even keep you from doing what God created you to do. But, if you will contend for the truth, embrace it and build your life upon it, you will succeed in every endeavor.”

“O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” (Psalm 34:8)

Thankful today for:

255. a fun field trip to Green Meadows petting farm

256. sweet baby goats, ducks and chicks

257. goats that will push each other out of the way just to be petted by you

258. cold water

259. so many teens going on misson trips this summer

260. good mid-term reports for my kids

261. a two-day work week

262. my identity in Christ

263. digital photos

What Do You Know?

May4

Several years ago, when Morgan was only about 4 or 5, her oldest brother went to a birthday party at a park. While they were there, the boys fished in the little lake for minnows. Justin caught one and put it in a little plastic bottle of water to bring home to show us. After showing it to me, he left it on the counter for Dad to see when he got home.

When David arrived, Justin went to get the bottle to show him his prize.

But where was the bottle?

What you need to know now is that young Morgan was in the habit of drinking from whatever cup or bottle she happened to see sitting around.

Morgan!

Sure enough, there in her room was the bottle. Apparently, she had drunk from it. Upon closer inspection, we saw that the fish was dead.

Eww.

Come to find out that the bottle had been full of the clean bottled water, and Justin had put the fish into it. The fish couldn’t survive in that environment, but at least Morgan hadn’t drunk the pond water.

I prayed for God’s mercy on a child’s foolishness, and watched for signs of some dread disease over the next several days. Thankfully, all was well.

My point is this: Sometimes we do things out of ignorance, not knowing that we’re hurting someone else or doing anything wrong. That doesn’t make us innocent, just as Morgan had no less drunk that water, but God’s mercy is great.

When I go clothes shopping or use my iPhone or watch something on TV, I don’t know all that has gone into getting that product into my hands. Has everyone been paid a fair wage for the work they’ve done to make that product? Has the CEO of the company been above board in his tax reporting or hiring practices? Are people anywhere at any time suffering so that I can watch my HDTV?

These are unanswered questions. I can’t follow the manufacturing trail for each and every product I use. Nor can I know the private lives of the executives of the companies from which I buy. I trust that God sees the suffering of the innocent. I don’t purposely buy or use things that have been brought to me by ill-gotten means. But there is evil in the world, and we have dedicated our lives to bringing the gospel into dark places. I just can’t know it all. In order to do that, I’d have to go back to the ways of my ancestors; living off the land I plow and plant, making my own clothes after weaving my own cloth after picking my own cotton. No electricity, no electronics, nothing that did not come by my own hand.

That just isn’t realistic in this day and age.

Pray for the persecuted. Bring the gospel to the lost. Listen to the voice and heart of God.

There is justice in the end. Now there’s something we can know.

Thankful today for:

249. mercy

250. 18 more days of school

251. knowing what’s for dinner

252. a playdate for my girl

253. a surprise in the mail from a friend

254. Facebook posts that make me laugh

500 Hats

May2

Bartholomew Cubbins has nothing on me.

You remember the story:  a poor boy was accused of not taking off his hat as the king went by. Highly offended, the king demanded that Bartholomew remove his hat. Thing was, Bartholomew thought he had. He reached up to his head, and lo and behold, there was a hat there. Bemused, he took the hat off again, and bowed to the king. What’s this? His hat was still on his head! Taken away to the castle to be disciplined for his insolence, Bartholomew kept taking off hats only to find more hats appearing each one the same as the next.

Nobody could figure out what was going on, least of all Bartholomew. But those hats saved him from having his head chopped off, because the executioner could not, by rule, cut off any head with a hat still atop.  Finally it was decided that he would be taken to the highest tower, and pushed to his death by the spoiled Grand Duke, son of the king. But when he stepped through the stairwell onto the roof, this is what happened:

“But when Bartholomew stepped up on the wall, they gasped in amazement. He was wearing the most beautiful hat that had ever been seen in the Kingdom of Didd. It had a ruby larger than any the King himself had ever owned. It had ostrich plumes, and cockatoo plumes, and mockingbird plumes, and paradise plumes. Beside such a hat even the King’s Crown seemed like nothing.” (The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, by Dr. Seuss.)

Sometimes I feel like young Barty. I’m ready to take off the hat I’m wearing–mom, wife, teacher, copy editor–only to find that I’ve got another one waiting underneath it: friend, sister, daughter-in-law, employee. The list is endless, just like Barty’s hats.

Those hats often leave me exhausted, feeling like I’m facing the executioner, not meaning to be trying to do things on my own, but somehow ending up that way.

But on my way to being pushed off the parapet by life itself, I reach back for one more hat; the most glorious one, the one that will save my life: Daughter of the King. Ah. Rest for my soul.

Isn’t it a beautiful thing?

Thankful today for:

243. my position in Christ

244. convenient grocery stores

245. the Starbucks gift cards I still have left from my birthday

246. sunshine

247. my husband being home

248. haircut day