Parental Guidance–a movie review

parental guidanceOn one of our recent dates, my 10-year-old daughter and I went to see the movie “Parental Guidance,” which stars Billy Crystal and Bette Midler. A friend had given it rave reviews, so I thought we’d give it a try. I was not disappointed.

The story revolves around Artie, a minor-league baseball broadcaster, and his wife, Diane, an eager grandmother who doesn’t meet her high-control daughter’s standards for proper upbringing. When the daughter, Alice (played by Marissa Tomei), and her husband find themselves in need of a babysitter for a week, she reluctantly calls on her parents.

The resulting antics are pretty hilarious: The kids, who aren’t given sugar by their parents, are given an ice cream cake by their Grandpa, who doesn’t get why such rules are in place, with the expected results. The youngest, Barker, who has an invisible kangaroo friend named Carl, gets into all sorts of situations resulting in many laughs. A confrontation by Artie with the speech teacher for the stuttering Turner and by Diane with the violin teacher for granddaughter, Harper, and the disparity of parenting styles is painfully apparent.

But the hilarity was not what impressed me most about the movie; it was the fact that Artie and Diane are committed to each other after 35 years of marriage. That was refreshing, coming from Hollywood. Diane asserts that she wants to become important in the lives of her grandchildren. She’s asking Artie, who had just been sacked by the baseball team for which he had worked for decades, to be on his best behavior for the week, knowing his antics could get them in hot water with their daughter. Artie tries, he really does, but his innate outspokenness and self-absorption gets him in trouble sometimes.

Like when they take the kids to Turner’s baseball game and learn that they don’t keep score in this league. For a baseball purist like Artie, that’s sheer foolishness. And he makes that clear to the gathered parents around him, many of whom agree.

Confronting Artie’s selfishness one night, Diane says to him, basically, “I’ve supported you for 35 years without complaint (well, with a little complaint), and all I asked of you was this one week to be about the kids. It’s not about you, Artie. It’s not about you.”

One of the sweetest scenes in the film was when Artie comes home from just having lost his job, and Diane tells him that he’s the best baseball announcer in the business and they really messed up when they let him go. Her love and support of him were genuine and she didn’t belittle him or make him feel like a failure.

Besides Artie and Diane’s impromptu song and dance to “Who Wrote the Book of Love” in the middle of the kitchen, the scene that struck me the most was a conversation between Diane and Alice. Alice wants to argue with her mom about something Artie did, but then she says, “No, you’ll just take his side. You always take his side.”

Diane’s answer is poignant: “That’s right, and you know why? Because when the kids are all grown up, it’s the husband who stays.”

In this kid-centric society we live in, where marriages are a dime a dozen, giving priority to your spouse is not a very popular modus operandi, but oh, how important it is.

Thanks, producer Billy Crystal and the rest of the “Parental Guidance” gang for giving such a positive, funny, tear-inducing picture of what marriage and family is all about: not perfection, but commitment and love.

You can read Plugged In’s review here.

Thankful today for:

841. the ability to sit outside in shorts and a T-shirt on a middle-of-February day

842. able-bodied helpers around the house

843. a late 14th-birthday celebration dinner

844. enthusiasm

845. new pants for $5

846. a hardworking husband

847. Linky parties 🙂

848. the opportunity to post on other peoples blogs

849. guest posts on my blog (hopefully coming soon)

850. God’s provision

The Disease of Sin

happy maskI read a devotional the other day that was thought-provoking. The writer, Dr. Ed Young, spoke of British journalist Malcolm Muggeridge and how he had been faithful to his wife their whole marriage. But Muggeridge always had in the back of his mind that he wanted to have an affair, just to see what it was like.

One day, when Muggeridge was in India by himself, he saw his chance. Taking his usual morning swim in the Ganges River, Muggeridge saw a woman bathing by herself some distance away. Thinking that no one would ever know, he swam upstream toward the woman. Young describes that Muggeridge was “struggling not just against the water, but against the current of his own conscience.” Swimming underwater, Muggeridge surfaced near the woman, and what he saw gave him the shock of a lifetime: The woman was a leper. Young says, “Her nose was eaten away. There were sores and white blotches all over her skin, and the ends of her fingers were gone. She looked more like an animal than a human.

“‘What a wretched woman this is,’ [Muggeridge] thought to himself, but at the same moment, he was overwhelmed with a devastating truth: ‘What a wretched man I am!'”

Dr.  Young surmises that Muggeridge, though he didn’t say so in his autobiography, must have come face to face with something profound: “Physical leprosy is crippling and terminal, but spiritual leprosy is deadly and eternal. Muggeridge’s real-life, graphic experience illustrates an unalterable truth: When we walk away from the commands of God, we walk right into disease–the disease of sin.”

This also reminds me of the movie “The Picture Of Dorian Gray.” The man on the outside looked handsome and kind, but the picture he kept hidden away took on all the ugliness that was the sin inside him. Jesus had a term for this kind of person: whitewashed sepulcher. You look good on the outside, but what is inside you is rotten, and dead and stinking.

With the help of the Holy Spirit, our outside should match our inside.

“From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

Thankful today for:

831. my son Nathan who turned 14 yesterday

832. party planning with friends

833. the power of the Holy Spirit who helps me overcome my fears

834. wisdom when I ask for it

835. living in Florida, where 60 degrees is cold

836. daddy-daughter dances

837. 30% off Kohl’s coupons

838. games

839. pitchers and catchers reporting 🙂

840. people who know more than I do

 

An Impatient People

IMG_0159My daughter and I have two hermit crabs. One of our original pair died a few months ago, and we replaced it shortly after Christmas. Just a day or so after we got the new guy, he burrowed under the sand in his crabitat, and we haven’t seen him since. Titan, the original hermie, decided to go with him.

That was at least 6 weeks ago. With the advice of my crab-aficionado friend, Robin, we decided to see if we could gently dig them up to see what was going on. So yesterday, with trepidation (I had found Charlotte dead the last time I had dug for a hidden crab), I gently dug around in the sand. Much to my delight, I first found Titan, hiding in a little hidey hole all by himself, but alive and well. Next, the search was on for Alex. Just a short while later I found him across the tank. He also was alive, but not as kickin’ as Titan was. I brought them both topside, cleaned up and refreshed the items in the tank, and then left them to see what they’d do.

Within the hour, both were back burrowed under the sand.

I have no idea what that means.

But upon reading in “The Story” Bible this morning in preparation for the sermon at church this morning, I came upon this verse: “‘Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who  brought us up out of Egypt, we dont know what has happened to him.'” There were the people of Israel, whom Moses had just led out of slavery in Egypt, speaking to Aaron, Moses’ brother. Moses had been gone on the mountain to meet with God for 6 weeks. The people grew impatient. Aaron had them give him all their gold jewelry, he threw it into the fire, melted it, and formed a golden calf, which they then proceeded to worship.

Oy vey.

When Moses came down from the mountain, having been warned by God that this had happened, he heard this from Aaron: “‘They gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!'”

Taking matters into our own hands instead of waiting on God is a very dangerous thing. Abraham and Sarah did that. The result was Ishmael–and today’s Arab nation, which has been at war with Israel for thousands of years.

The Israelites grew impatient when Moses was away for 6 weeks. The result? A golden calf, God’s anger, and further judgement on Israel.

Nothing bad happened when I took matters into my own hands and went searching for my secluded crabs. If they had been in the middle of a molt, I could have further stressed them and caused their death. I am thankful that didn’t happen, but it could have.

“Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary” Isaiah 40:31.

God’s plan is always the best. Pushing our own way gets us in trouble.

Thankful today for:

821. Sunday mornings

822. French toast for breakfast

823. a normally beating heart

824. classic literature

825. traditional values coupled with forward thinking

826. the staff at my church

827. help

828. lesson plans

829. a paycheck

830. happy bird song

The Beetle Within Us

avocadoWe had a beautiful avocado tree. We purchased it, and another for friends who live less than a mile away, about 5 years ago, just before these friends returned from a time of living overseas. The first four years of its life with us were spent growing, thriving and providing hope for a future bumper crop of Florida avocados. The tree grew to more than 10 feet tall with shiny, dark green leaves providing a canopy in the back corner of our yard.

We weren’t disappointed. Last year, we had a bumper crop. Every day we could go out and pick an avocado to garnish a salad or a sandwich, or gather a few to make a tempting bowl of guacamole. There were so many that even the squirrels had their fill, much to our chagrin. But the dog had a grand time tearing out every morning and chasing them away. What was left on the ground with little rodent teeth marks we simply washed off, cut away the nibbled parts, and enjoyed the rest. We couldn’t wait for another harvest this year.

And then one day, I looked out at our lush tree and saw a plethora of brown, dead leaves covering the top portion. We have had a very mild winter here in Orlando, so I ruled out freeze burn. What could possibly be wrong? So I waited, hoping that it was just a fluke. A few days later, after a bit of a windstorm, I looked again and our grass around the tree was littered with dead leaves that had been blown off by the wind.

I took a picture and texted it to my husband. What in the world could be wrong with our beautiful tree?

Again, a few days later, we knew we were in desperate trouble. Nearly all the leaves were brown and, with just a touch, I could pull off a deadened bough.

I called the nursery from which we had purchased the tree. The news was indeed devastating: ambrosia beetles. Our tree was beyond hope.

The kind lady at Lukas Nursery gave me the signs to look for, and they were there. They might have been there all along; I just hadn’t known what to look for. Last weekend, we took the tree down. I kept inspecting the branches, wanting to see hoards of beetles pouring out, just so I would know that that really had been the problem. What we found was one.

Now, I don’t think that that one little beetle did all the damage itself, but that was all we found. Our once beautiful tree, grown strong and majestic, providing us with days of fruit last summer, had been felled by a tiny insect no more than 2 inches long. What we thought was a healthy, happy tree had been at risk for a long time, and we hadn’t seen it coming until it was too late.

The same could be said for the people around us. How often have we heard that someone’s child has fallen into sin and wondered how in the world could that have happened? A beloved and admired co-worker has an affair, ending a marriage you had believed to be strong. A mother leaves her family because she can’t handle the stress. Or someone is just so overwhelmed with the pressure of keeping up the façade that they fall into deep depression.

Just a casual glance at our tree, and an admiration of how lovely it looked and an appreciation for the work that it did to provide us with fruit we enjoyed, did not give us an inkling that there was something deeply wrong. Until it was too late.

Don’t let it get too late for the people you love. Ask the hard questions; take the time to listen to them; look past the façade. And do the same when you look in the mirror.

Really. Before it’s too late.

Thankful today for:

811. a pleasant back porch

812. toothpaste

813. clean water I don’t have to tote from a well

814. fun field trips

815. prayer times with friends

816. the success of others

817. gift cards to fun places

818. the deepening voices of my sons

819. a husband who still tells his teenage boys that he loves them

820. my animals

I’ve just reached the year mark of my thankfulness list–and my regular posts on my blog–and, as you can see, I haven’t reached my goal of 1000 yet. So I’m just going to keep going until I get there. Thanks for joining me on the journey.

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are!

ImageWe have a couple of varieties of animals that have become worrisome for me. Our hermit crabs, Alex and Titan, have been buried since the day after we brought Alex home from the pet store to replace our dear departed Charlotte a couple of days after Christmas. Hermit crabs, if they are healthy, molt on a regular basis, shedding their old, tight exoskeleton for a bigger and shinier one. (Well, maybe not the shinier part, but you get the idea.) From what I’ve read, that’s a very stressful process for them and, depending on their size, this can take many weeks, maybe even a couple of months. What’s hard for us is the waiting. They know what they’re doing naturally, but they are hidden from our sight, not eating, not drinking, not seeing the light of day. It’s been more than a month now, and I’m beginning to worry that they didn’t make it.

Our second worrisome set is a trio of kuhli loaches we bought to help control the snail population in our aquarium. They had been recommended by my fish guru, Tiffaney, who assured me that these eel-like creatures would be munching escargot soon. Well, I can’t find them now. They’ve shown themselves a few times, but rarely, and the snail population flourishes. I don’t know much about them, but Tiffaney says they’re shy, and the forums say they like to bury themselves, but I’m beginning to fear they might not be alive either! We purchased three, and at any given time I’ve only seen two, and the last time was several days ago, maybe even a week. Loachies! Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Crabs and loaches. And God.

Do you ever fear that He might not be around anymore? Does it seem like a really long time since you last heard from Him?

John 20:29 records this interchange between Jesus and Thomas, His disciple: “Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'”

I’m not sure about the kuhlis and the crabs, but I know about God. Enjoy this song from The Newsboys, declaring the truth that He is alive!

Thankful today for:

789. my singing bird

790. fast-moving clouds doused in sunrise

791. maturity

792. the freedom to gather and pray

793. godly leaders

794. new friendships

795. education

796. spontaneous visits from faraway family

797. surprises

798. new life

799. laughter

800. music

801. talented people

802. mistakes overcome

803. the journey

804. new stuff

805. reminiscing

806. indoor plumbing (just sayin’)

807. my students

808. a breeze

809. books

810. quiet