Beauty Before Death

Feb26

This post is a part of my 10-Minute Tuesday series. I write for 10 minutes on a one-word prompt without heavy editing and see what happens. Today’s prompt is “Autumn.”

It inevitably happens. Every September and October beautiful photos start popping up on Instagram and Facebook of gorgeous, fiery trees. People oooh and ahhh about the spectacular colors.

Preston Hughes parkwayI live in Florida, so we don’t really get that here. And I grew up in California’s Bay Area, and I never really got that there either. So I’m not missing what I never knew. But the pictures are lovely.

Funny thing about Autumn: the colors are at their peak when the leaves are about to die and drop for the winter. Beauty before death.

Huh.

I don’t know quite what to make of that. I have heard that the cold and snow is necessary in order for new growth to happen underground. The snow insulates the ground and new life happens underneath. But seeing beauty in dying? That’s a really foreign concept.

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I haven’t been in a position of being with someone as they took their last breath, but I have been there for a couple of beloved pets. In fact, just within the last couple of months I held my sweet little parakeet as he breathed his last. The tears were streaming down my cheeks. I really didn’t see anything beautiful there. I only felt pain.

So this is what I see now: It is in the letting go, in the dying, in the giving up and the killing off of anything that takes my focus away from God that resurrection happens. You see, in order for resurrection to happen, death has to occur. If I want to live a new life, I have to be willing to let the old things go.

Watching someone you love pass on from this life is not easy, but there are many times in which we see this as a mercy because they are suffering here on this earth. We know they will have new life if they are in Christ, and so we assure them that they can go in peace.

I remember talking to my mom on the phone in the last minutes of her life. My siblings were with her and they held the phone to her ear. All I could hear was her heavy, last stage breathing as the cancer took her away. Through my tears I told her not to wait for me. I wasn’t going to get there in time. She could go on without me.

She left just a short while later.

But that death had to occur in order for new life to begin. Those leaves in Autumn have to fall in order for the new growth to come in the Spring.

Trusting in the Justice of God

Feb22

This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up. I write for 5 minutes on a one-word prompt and see what happens. Today’s prompt is “just.” Check out all the other posts here.

I heard recently about a 2-year-old little girl who was just diagnosed with a form of ovarian cancer.

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I have 3 friends currently battling breast cancer.

I have another friend who is at this moment awaiting results from blood tests to find out if her 22-year-old daughter’s mass is cancerous or not.

All I can do is pray, weep with them, and trust that Deuteronomy 32:4 is true: “He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he” (New International Version).

Do those situations look just? Not to our eyes. But if we can’t trust the character of God, all is lost.

Theologian and author Nancy Guthrie knows a bit about the justice and goodness of God. In a podcast interview with Lina Abujamra, she talks about hope, and her perspective is that we live in a broken world, and bad things happen. But God. It’s not all about us.

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I’m about to head out to a weekend women’s retreat where we will be hearing via video from Sharon Hodde Miller about taking our eyes off ourselves. Her book “Free of Me” is a must read for anyone who thinks life’s not fair or that anything at all is about them.

That would be all of us, wouldn’t it? My marriage is not about me. My family is not about me. My calling is not about me. It’s all about God. I can choose to let my circumstances dictate how I see God, or I can let God be the filter for how I see my circumstances.

If I want any joy in this life, the latter is the better choice.

ALL His ways are just.

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Confident In My Construction

Feb15

This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up. I write on a one-word prompt for just 5 minutes without any heavy editing and see what happens. Today’s prompt is the word “confident.” Check out the other posts this week.

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I’m a big fan of the podcast by Ryan O’Neal, aka the musical artist Sleeping At Last. He takes apart the pieces that he creates to let his listeners in on the process he goes through to build his music. It’s fascinating.

He has a series of songs he’s based on the Enneagram. If you’re not familiar with the Enneagram, click above for some info.

He invites as his guest on each of the podcasts about the Enneagram songs writer and activist Chris Heuertz, who is the author of The Sacred Enneagram. Chris helps break down each type and explain a little more about them and what makes them unique and special. He also gives tips for each type on how they can grow to be the best version of themselves.

enneagramI’m a Type 9, so I’m still waiting to learn more about my type. Ryan has only written up through Type 8. Nine will be Ryan’s last piece in this series. What comes to mind for me in listening to these songs is what the Apostle Paul told the Philippian church after saying he was thankful for them and was praying for them: “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in your will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6, New International Version).

Isn’t that great news?

He’s not finished with me yet.

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Sleeping at Last podcast image via the SAL Facebook page

Take That, Gates of Hell

Feb8

This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up. I write for 5 minutes with no heavy editing and see what happens. To read all the posts for this week, click here.

In Matthew chapter 16 we are shown a dialog between Jesus and His disciples in which Jesus asks them who people are saying that He is. Some say He is Elijah, some say He is John the Baptist come back from the dead. That one never made sense to me since Jesus and John were alive at the same time, but I digress.

Jesus then asks them, “Who do you say that I am?” And Peter speaks up, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.”

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Jesus applauds this statement, telling Peter that it’s not something he came up with on his own, but that was revealed to him by the Father. And then He says this, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18).

Note that: I will build My church. It’s not our job.

I didn’t think a lot about that statement until fairly recently when my pastor and I were talking about the religious climate in America. He reminded me that the church is safe. It may have to go underground, but the gates of hell will not prevail against it. He is doing the building. Not us. Not our great programs and beautiful buildings and charismatic preachers.

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No matter what, we don’t have to worry about the church, we don’t have to worry about Jesus, we don’t have to worry about the Scriptures. God can do that plenty fine by Himself, and you know what?

We know who wins in the end.

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My Word(s) of the Year: Let Go

Feb4

In a departure from my normal 10-Minute Tuesday post where I take a one-word prompt given by a friend and write unedited for 10 minutes on that prompt, I thought I would take these 10 minutes today and talk about my word(s) of the year. In 2017, my word was “obey,” and that’s the year we found out we were going to be grandparents via my eldest son and his girlfriend. I had no idea that “obey” would mean showing grace like I’ve never done before.

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In 2018, my word was “trust,” and that’s when our grandson arrived and we made good on our agreement—our obedience to the Lord—to watch him every day that his parents worked. Five days a week. Not a small commitment when you’re in your mid-50s, I gotta tell ya.

So, for 2019, the theme that seems to be presenting itself over and over is “Let Go.” Don’t carry what’s not yours to carry. In the Bible, in 1 Peter 5:7 (Modern English Version), it says, “Cast all your care upon Him, because He cares for you.”

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There’s very little that God wants us to take upon ourselves. You know that old saying, “God helps those who help themselves”? Not biblical. Nope. You won’t find it in the Bible.

Instead, many times over we are told to give Jesus our burdens. “Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden,” (Matt. 11:28); several times in Matthew 6 Jesus says, “Don’t be anxious about tomorrow” (or your life, or what you will wear, or eat, etc.).

You get the idea. There are burdens we just aren’t meant to carry. As a mom, I can take way too much upon myself, and it causes a great deal of stress that can end in health problems if held too long.

My children are 22, 20 (in 12 days) and 16. Especially for my 22 year old who is a dad and lives with his own little family, I cannot and should not carry his choices, burdens, troubles, whatever. When I find myself worrying because they have had an argument, I lift up my hands and say, “It’s not mine to carry. Help them, Lord.” I am here if they ask for advice or help, but they need to do the adulting on their own.

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One child is waitlisted for housing on his college campus for next year. I could overwhelm myself with panicking about apartments. But it’s not mine to carry.

Another child is T-boned on his way to work and will have ongoing medical issues and hassles with insurance. I could consult everyone I’ve ever known who’s been in an accident and drive myself and my child crazy. But it’s not mine to carry.

Another child is Dissatisfied with the way friendships are being conducted. I have lots of advice I could give about that. But no, it’s not mine to carry.

Again, I am here to bounce things off of and give advice when asked, but the burdens are not mine. I have a very strong and capable heavenly Father who not only wants to carry these burdens, but to Him they are not even burdens at all, but rather opportunities for growing faith and ultimate direction that could be missed if I try to do it myself.

And so, for 2019, I will focus on this: Let Go.