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Speaking the Same Language

Nov18

I attended the wedding of my friend Danielle yesterday. Hers is a pretty fun story: she met her husband on a mission trip in Brazil. He wasn’t supposed to be on the trip, but at the last minute, his plans changed and he went along. Something clicked for them on that week-long trip down the Amazon River and, just a short time later, via Skype, they became engaged. He’s Brazilian, she’s American. They have a lot to learn about each other in the days ahead, and they have a language barrier to overcome. But they both know that God brought them together, and keeping Him in the center of their lives will make all the difference.

David and I are approaching 22 years on our marriage journey. We still have a lot to learn also. We might both speak English, but we don’t always understand each other. Dani and Jose know that they have to be patient in order to understand each other. David and I assume we’re speaking the same language, and therefore get frustrated when one or the other of us doesn’t understand.

Maybe if we all went into marriage knowing that we have a communication gap to overcome, we’d be a lot better off. Here are a couple of examples of what women say and what we really mean. I pulled these off the website Funny2.com

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of “those” arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

NOTHING: This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and will end with the word “Fine.”

We can laugh at those things, but real communication does take work, no matter how long you’ve been married–or even if you’re not married. All relationships take communication if they are to grow.

I had a conversation with my 10-year-old daughter last night. She had said some things that made a friend feel uncomfortable, and she needs to make a phone call today to talk to her about it and apologize. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. Training a child to have those difficult conversations is one of the most important things a parent can do. She will have that conversation today, and I will help her. Maybe I can learn something myself along the way.

Thankful today for:

650. weddings

651. breaks from school

652. dates (the going-out kind, not the eating kind)

653. music

654. flowers

655. tasty food that others prepare

656. wonderful trips my friends get to take

657. photos from afar

658. French toast on a Sunday morning

A-Camping We Will Go

Nov15

Every year for the last 11 years, our family has gone camping with our kids’ school, Trace Academy. Trace started this tradition the very first year it opened, believing that the “shared adversity” of tent camping with everyone would build unity. For our parent-involved, “family owned and operated” structure, unity is very important.

Some of our families had never been camping until they joined us, and some will never do it again after they leave. I wasn’t in the first group, but I may very well end up in the second after freezing at night for the past two years.

I am not built for the cold. I know, I know. There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing. That may be true, but, living in Florida does not lend itself to keeping cold-weather gear on hand. This year, I watched the weather report; I knew we were in for nights in the low 40s. I pulled out my ancient thermal underwear, got my fuzziest, thickest socks, piled on the blankets, had a little heater. Still, I froze.

Even my hot flashes weren’t helping.

There is nothing longer than a night with no sleep. O.K., I shouldn’t say NO sleep: I probably got a couple of hours scattered throughout the 7 hours I laid there shivering. The next morning, I was the teacher on for the day–and even before that, I was a part of the worship band during the assembly that starts our day. But God gave me grace, and I was able to get through it and even enjoy it. But man, when we got home, did my warm bed ever feel so good.

Now, before those in colder climes call me wimpy because anything less than 60 is cold to me, let me just state that all people are different, and I am one of those who would rather sweat than shiver. But, I want to look on the bright (think warm and sunny) side, so here are the things I like about camping with our school:

#1 sitting around the campfire with friends
#2 cooking outdoors
#3 the change of scenery
#4 knowing my kids are having such a great time with their friends
#5 once it finally warms up, I love the beautiful, Florida fall weather
#6 the assembly time, laughing at the MCs’ antics and being a part of the worship band

Next year, though, I’m seriously considering borrowing an RV. Our neighbors have one–about a 20-footer I’m guessing. That should do the trick.

Thankful today for

642. A weeklong break
643. Hair cuts
644. Protection
645. Coffee–not because I need the caffeine, because I drink only decaf, but just because I like it
646. Slow mornings
647. Health
648. My far-away family
649. S’mores

Tap Here To Begin Writing

Oct1

It makes it sound so easy. All you have to do is put the cursor at the top of the page and start writing. If you have something to say, shouldn’t the words just come?

Everyone’s probably heard of the term “writer’s block.” It refers to that time when you’re supposed to be writing something, but the inspiration just won’t come. It seems to happen most often when there’s a deadline hanging over your head. But every writer knows that you deal with writer’s block by just writing. You push through it. Sometimes you have to get up and take a walk, or do something else for a bit, but you can’t let the block win.

Eric Liddle, the Scottish runner memorialized in the movie “Chariots of Fire,” once said to his sister, “When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.” God had made him fast, and he wanted to use that gift God had given him. So he ran.

When I write, I feel God’s pleasure. But the writing has to be done in His strength, not my own. And when life’s demands stealthily steal the time and attention I could be spending writing, I feel a listlessness that I don’t often attribute to having not written. It’s just a hobby for me anyway, isn’t it? It’s not like it’s my job. I don’t make my living off of it.

Maybe not; but it’s what gives me life.

Work out of your strengths. Isn’t that what job coaches tell us? If you’re in a job that constantly demands things of you that you find it a stretch to do, then maybe seeking God about another job would be a good idea. Now, I know in this economy that isn’t easy. Sometimes that strength may have to come on the side. Love doing administrative work? Ask your church if they need help in the office sometimes. Love working with kids? Volunteer as a mentor at a local school. Need to be outdoors? Use your evenings and weekends to fulfill that desire.

Life is too short to always work out of our weaknesses. God gave us strengths, gifts that we need to embrace and use for His glory. If I can take 10 minutes a day, or even every other day to get some words out there, I will feel much better.

What about you? What gift do you need to accept and use more?

Thankful today for:

604. people who leave really cool stuff out on the curb that I can then snatch up

605. grace

606. my team making it into the playoffs!

607. the chance to go to Colorado next week with my husband

608. friends who will help my kids while we’re gone

10 years ago Friday

Sep21

I was sitting inside where it’s nice and cool, watching my 10-year-old daughter cavort in the pool with her friends. Friday was her birthday.

Of course, I remember that day clearly. I went through most of labor in the waiting room as there was no room in labor and delivery. There was a bomb scare which kept the doctor away until it was almost too late. She was snatched away from me by a well-meaning nurse who thought she spit up something greenish that could indicate a perforated bowel. She had to spend several days in the NICU, and I had to go home without her, which was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. Turns out she was perfectly fine, thank the Lord.

20120921-183342.jpgI loved the baby days, even with the sleepless nights. She was an adorable baby, and she has grown into a funny, gregarious, happy little girl young lady. Her heart is full of songs. She loves her family–even those annoying brothers–, she loves her pets, she loves Jesus. She wants to run a zoo when she grows up.

I’m hoping that doesn’t happen for a long, long time.

Happy birthday, Morgan.

Thankful today for:

595. My daughter
596. The rain holding off until after the pool party
597. Lasagna
598. Chocolate cake
599. Weekends

Life, and Baseballs, Come At You Fast

Sep9

By now you should know that I am a big Oakland A’s baseball fan. My love affair started when my family moved to Oakland in 1968. We used to get A’s tickets as rewards for being on the traffic squad in elementary school. This was in the days before night games, so when the A’s were consistently in the World Series in the 70s, the administration used to bring a big t.v. into the auditorium on a cart, and we could get out of class to watch part of the game. Our family even got to go to a few playoff and World Series games.

After World Series victories, of which there were many, our family would travel downtown to enjoy the victory parade. The atmosphere was so exciting.

I remember anticipating attending my first game. My great aunt Zizi was taking me and my older brother and sister. I was so excited that I threw up–and then I didn’t get to go. I was relegated to my room, listening to the broadcast on the radio. My mom finally figured out I wasn’t really sick when I kept running into the room with updates from the game.

My mom once had a job at a pharmacy in the same building as the A’s team doctor. The players would often come in to have prescriptions filled. Taking advantage of the situation, my mom would get their autographs–four times over. One for each kid. She even volunteered to make a home delivery once, with me in tow, to first baseman Gene Tenace’s house. What a thrill. Captain Sal Bando attended our church, though he usually sat in back and slipped out when Mass was over.

I remember when pitcher Vida Blue was seen visiting a neighbor up the road. My sister Leslie jumped right out of her sick bed to hurry up the road with us to get his signature on our A’s caps.

I remember the days of Charlie-O, the big donkey mascot named after famed A’s owner Charlie Finley. We once had a carnival at our elementary school, and Charlie-O was a special guest. Those were the days. Baseball was king.

Just a week ago, pitcher Brandon McCarthy stood on the mound for the A’s, playing another game in a pennant race that is very exciting for A’s fans. One second he was pitching the ball to an Angel’s hitter, the next, he was on the ground, beaned in the head by a screaming line drive. Taken to the hospital a short time later, Brandon underwent a CT scan which showed he had suffered a fractured skull and would undergo surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain.

Praise God he is out of the hospital and recovering well, but his season is over. All in a matter of seconds.

When I was growing up, Zizi was an important part of holidays as she usually traveled from her home in Bakersfield to Oakland to spend the days with us. We would wait in anticipation for her big yellow car to make its way up our street. Her presence completed the holiday. Once I moved to Florida, I rarely got to see her.

On July 11th, my family and I arrived in Bakersfield, Calif., to visit Zizi and my aunt and uncle. I hadn’t seen Zizi in 9 years.  For the rest of my family–except Morgan, who had been with me 9 years ago–it had been longer. We enjoyed our short visit, prompted by the fact that we didn’t know when or if we’d see Zizi again. She was 94, after all.

Two weeks later, on August 26th, Zizi awoke thinking it was going to be like any other day. She went to the kitchen to make her breakfast when something went terribly wrong. While cooking an egg on her stove, she suffered some sort of episode that apparently caused her to pass out and fall onto the stove. The result of all this was 3rd degree burns over 40 percent of her body. Three days later, she was gone, too badly injured to recover. One moment making breakfast on a regular day; three days later, gone.

Baseball and Zizi: forever linked in my life.

20120913-094443.jpgLife comes at you fast. You never know how long you’re going to have someone with you. I don’t want to waste one moment in harsh words or unresolved conflict. No regrets. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful epitaph?

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting my life is.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
even those who seem secure” (Psalm 39:4,5)

Thankful today for:

587. family

588. a tight pennant race

589. fall

590. RoundUp®