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Redecorating

Nov5

welcomeMy husband and I are in the process of doing some revamping of our family room. We’ve ordered a leather couch and love seat to replace our worn out, hand-me-down set, moved out an oak bookshelf to our daughter’s room, and made plans for a built-in bookcase/tv/aquarium stand. Right now, my family room looks like a giant mess.

But my daughter’s room is amazingly clean. She’s put that big bookshelf to work in her room—mostly holding her boatload of stuffed animals. She slaved yesterday getting everything cleaned up and going through 12 plastic bins to make room for the new furniture.

It looks great.

Unlike my family room.

Unlike my life.

The mess in my house just reflects the mess in my life as I try to determine where I’m supposed to be right now. With my eldest just a year and a bit away from graduating from high school—and hopefully following his dreams to the United States Air Force Academy—and my youngest in her last year of elementary school, I’m looking ahead to a crossroads.

I’m full on into menopause.

I’m thinking of changing jobs within my organization.

I’m searching for where God wants me to serve in my church community.

Crossroads. Mid-life crisis. Redecorating.

Years ago there was a song that was popular on Christian radio called “Welcome Home.”  Watch it below:

I love the imagery:

Take a seat – pull up a chair –
Forgive me for the disrepair
And the souvenirs from floor to ceiling
Gathered on my search for meaning,
And every closet’s filled with clutter –
Messes yet to be discovered –
I’m overwhelmed – I understand
I can’t make this place all that You can…

Much as I try to make my house what I want it to be, I certainly can’t do it alone. My husband is a great handyman, and his desire to please me makes him a willing participant in my sometimes hair-brained schemes. Not that I’m saying this project is hair brained, you understand.

How much more does God love me and want to come in to what is essentially His home and make out of it what He wants to? He’s not in a crisis. He sees no crossroads. He just wants every corner of my life to be His. I don’t know if recording artist Shaun Groves wrote his song based on the booklet “My heart Christ’s home,” but he could have. It’s certainly the same theme.

No corner undusted; no closet uncleaned; no room off limits.

I’m attempting to redecorate my family room. Jesus is attempting to redecorate my life.

Have at it, Lord. Your interior decorating skills are far superior to mine.

Get Off The Fence

Jul13

IMG_0249On our daily bike ride this morning, David and I encountered a strange sight: a loveseat on a chainlink fence. You might know the old adage: If you see a turtle on a fence post, you know he didn’t get there by himself. Same with this piece of furniture. But it got me to thinking.

It’s easy to ride the fence, not choosing which side we want to be on. We want to be a part of the Kingdom of Light, to follow Jesus fully, but the kingdom of this world is so attractive. Maybe we just start by watching what’s going on over the fence. Then we stick our fingers through the holes, maybe start to climb a little to get a better look. Pretty soon, we’re peeking over the top, then hefting one leg over to get a better perch. But it’s not very comfortable at the top. Those wires poke pretty hard.

It’s when we decide to haul up the couch to make our stay more comfortable that we get in real trouble.

In the Book of Revelation, Jesus says, “‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked'” (Rev. 3:15-17).

You’ve got to choose which side you’re going to be on. Hanging out in the middle is uncomfortable and dangerous, no matter what chair you’ve hauled up there with you.

Get off the fence.

To Tell The Truth

Jul8

Gavel-and-scales-of-justiceTwo years ago, I, along with thousands of others, found myself glued to the T.V. as I watched the drama of the Casey Anthony murder trial unfold in an Orange County, Fla., courtroom. I think it riveted me for a couple of reasons: the Anthony family lived just down the street from me, and it was about a mother supposedly murdering her child.

I admit, I did not presume her innocent. Whether or not she killed her child in cold blood, as the prosecutors suggested, or whether little Kaylee’s death was the result of some sort of negligence on the part of her mother, I don’t know, but I was appalled that the jury found her not guilty of some sort of hand in her daughter’s demise.

Now, the nation is once again focused on my little corner of the world. George Zimmerman is on trial in neighboring Seminole County for second degree murder in the death of Trayvon Martin. I’m not riveted to this one: I’ve watched maybe a total of 15 minutes, and I haven’t formed any solid conclusions. Except for this one: No one, and I mean no one, except the Lord God Almighty, knows what’s in the heart of George Zimmerman, and what was in the heart of Trayvon Martin.

I’m very sorry Trayvon is dead. I think there were many, many things that should have been done differently. What I can’t abide in this case is the call for vigilante justice and the threat of riots if George is found not guilty.

Really? Why is the assumption that, because Zimmerman is “non-black” (seriously?) and  Martin was black, Zimmerman automatically is racist and targeted Martin from the get-go?

And I’m not saying he didn’t. But I am saying that this is a no-win situation. Trayvon Martin certainly didn’t win anything; he’s dead. And George Zimmerman loses either way as well. If he’s found guilty, he goes to prison. That’s a big loss. If he’s found not guilty, he will never experience a day of peace in his life, because the media won’t let him. He’s guilty because he’s not black.

That’s how I read it, anyway.

But this is what I read also: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV)

Casey Anthony, George Zimmerman, Trayvon Martin, Stephanie Reeves.

We’re no different. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23 NIV).

Yet, I can say along with the apostle Paul, “Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24, 25a NET)

And on a daily basis, I need to do a heart check: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way” (Psalms 139:23, 24 NASB).

Our justice system is imperfect, I think we can all agree on that. And none of our hearts are white as snow, unless they’ve been washed by the blood of Jesus.

Thank God I am not on trial on a daily basis for the deceitfulness of my heart. But, woe to me if I judge others too harshly. I don’t know what really happened to Kaylee Anthony, and I don’t know what happened on that street when George Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin. But I do know this, as John Bradford did: There, but for the grace of God, go I.

photo from iraqinews.com

Happy Dependence Day

Jul4

in·de·pend·ence [in-di-pen-duhns]

Noun; freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

american-flagToday we celebrate Independence Day. It’s an important day in our nation, of course, because it signifies that we won our freedom, at great cost, from another nation that was subjecting us to laws to which we did not want to be subject. Nobody denies our right to our independence. No one  denies us the right to be a sovereign nation.

For a country, independence is desired, sought after, fought for.

For people who need a Savior, it’s not such a good thing.

Think about it. Look at the definition above. Do we want to be free from the control, influence, support, aid or the like of the Holy Spirit? Our country said to England, “We don’t want you to control us anymore!” But if we were to tell our sovereign God that we don’t want His influence or support in our life, we would fall apart.

One of the pastors at my church prayed something one time that I have never forgotten. He said this: “If You took Your eyes off of us, we would be undone.”

Happy Independence Day, America!

Happy dependence day for me. And may it be so for the rest of my life.

Repeat After Me: Yes, Yes, Yes

May25

IMG_2477I have a bobblehead of Barry Bonds that my mom gave me and it sits on the shelf above the computer in my kitchen. Just jiggle him and he nods his head, “Yes, yes, yes.” Whatever your feelings about Barry Bonds personally, his bobblehead is a great role model.

I read a devotional the other day that talked about having a “yes” face. How do people perceive you? Do you have a face that invites conversation? Inquiry? Friendship? In regards to our kids, my husband is often telling me, “Say yes whenever you can.”

It’s easy with simple things: Can I take the bird out of his cage? Sure, that doesn’t cost me any extra energy. Can I make a smoothie? Well, will everything be cleaned up? What will I have to invest in this project? Can I have a sleepover? Wow. That’s a much bigger commitment on my part!

So basically what I’m saying is, if it’s convenient for me, I’ll say yes. And that’s just plain selfish. Not that I need to concede to every request of my children, but if it’s a reasonable request, why not say yes?

Will you play with me?

Can we make cookies together?

Can my friend come over to play?

I’ve seen a couple of really cool times in the past week when God has said “Yes” to things I have asked for. First, last Sunday our church was holding a big outdoor celebration. When David got up early that morning to go over and help run sound for the event, it was lightly raining. I looked at the forecast, and it was calling for a 45% chance of rain right at the time of our celebration. I prayed, asking God to keep the rain away from us for that time. This was a really big deal in the life of our church family, and rain would have washed us out. about a half hour later, I checked the forecast again. Guess what it said. Zero percent chance of rain.

God loves saying yes.

The second time was just today. My friend Carol had told us that her son, Roy, who is my son Nathan’s friend, had mononucleosis. Eight days before their graduation from middle school. What a big bummer. Depending on what the blood work showed, he could be down and out for weeks. Again, I went to God in prayer. This morning, Carol called to tell me that Roy’s blood work looked beautiful. No mono. Praise God.

God always has a good reason for telling us no, or wait. I don’t always have a good reason for telling my kids no. Have I raised kids who don’t take the initiative in life because I told them no too often? I pray that’s not the case, and I will work on saying yes more often. After all, I desire to hear God say yes to me, don’t I? Be like Bobblehead Barry: “Yes, yes, yes.”

“You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God” (James 4:2).

Thankful today for:

891. answered prayer

892. a new refrigerator

893. growing investments

894. a 3-day weekend

895. America’s lost and wounded warriors

896. nearly a month on my exercise plan

897. recognition for Justin for his academic achievement

898. a hair cut

899. rain for my new rose bush and transplanted avocado volunteer

900. early baseball games