Archives

Waiting on God

Apr26

I consider myself an OK waiter, meaning that if I have to wait for something, depending on what it is, I usually can do it pretty well. Standing in line at amusement parks, waiting for something to come in the mail, stuff like that. But when it comes to the big things–waiting for a husband, to have children, to get a new electronic gadget that I just can’t live without–those things aren’t always easy. And God doesn’t work on my time schedule, apparently. Obviously.

Recently, my brother-in-law Ron lost his job. We’re talking a month ago. Tuesday, he got a new job. Wow. Not only that, it’s a good job, not just a something-to-tide-me-over kind of job. My sister reports that he said it has everything he was looking for in a professional environment. Again, wow.

They were settling in for the long haul. We know people who have been out of work for months and months and months. Is Ron holier than all those other people who just think they’re trusting God, but obviously they’re not or God would have provided for them already? I think not. And I’m sure my sister and brother-in-law would agree.

Isaiah 55:8 says, “’For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the LORD.” We cannot fathom the ways of the Lord.

I didn’t get married until I was 29. I have friends who married at 19 or 20. I wanted to get married younger. Why didn’t God act sooner?

I didn’t have my first child until I was 35. I surely didn’t plan that one. Unwed teenagers have unwanted children all the time. Why didn’t God let me and David have one of those years before?

I want a red Mustang convertible. Other people have red Mustang convertibles. How come I can’t have one? OK. Maybe that’s not the best question to ask. Forget that one.

Point is, God does not act the same way twice. Just as every person is unique, every way that God deals with each person is unique. As Aslan the lion in the Chronicles of Narnia series is fond of saying, He’s telling us our story, no one else’s. What He does with someone else really is not our business.

It’s His. And He’s very good at it.

Thankful today for:

225. My story

226. potential

227. a new job for my brother-in-law

228. creativity

229. new songs

230. corrective lenses

Guarding My Heart

Apr24

“Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV).

I have mentioned before that I have heart issues. Every once in awhile, I have these spells of arrhythmia, always in the middle of the night, sometimes for longer period than others.

My doctor says they’re not dangerous, just annoying and disconcerting.

It happened the other night, but only for about 5 minutes, so I was grateful for that. But because it was the middle of the night, and I was alone because my husband is out of town, sleep was elusive for the rest of the night. And the regular skip that I have in my heartbeat was more noticeable and more pronounced because of my circumstances.

If only the sin and wickedness that hides in my heart could be felt as easily.

When the skip in my heartbeat becomes more pronounced, I do a check: what am I stressed about? Am I getting enough sleep? What am I taking control of that is the Lord’s to direct?

Since my husband is out of town and will be for another week still, the answers to the above questions the other night were: everything, no and everything. My guard on my heart was definitely down. Prayer is what it took to be on guard again.

Because I have been separated from my other half for too many days now, I also have to keep my heart guarded in another sense. And I pray that his heart is guarded as well. Vulnerability makes us weak. But he’s out of cell range most of the time, busy with his own schedule, as am I, so our communication is sporadic. Again, pray keeps up the guard as we spend so much time apart.

What will flow from my heart today? It is well guarded at the moment, so love, joy, peace and all those other wonderful fruit of the Spirit should be the result. May it ever be that way.

Thankful today for:
216. A good night’s sleep
217. Field trips
218. New ministry partners
219. God’s mercies–new every morning
220. Toddler hugs
221. Paychecks
222. My washing machine
223. Finding a fun new show on TV
224. The variety in God’s creation

“Mirror, Mirror”

Apr21

I saw “Mirror, Mirror” (a different telling of the Snow White story) with Morgan last night. I enjoyed it. I’ve always liked Julia Roberts, and I think she did a great job in the role of wicked stepmother. But the take-away I got was this: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). I’m going to keep drilling that into my daughter, beautiful though she is on the outside. That won’t last, baby; cultivate the inside. It’s so much more important.

Thankful today for:

213. time with my daughter

214. my boys enjoying a guys retreat with the youth–doing guy things

215. a new recipe to try


My Journey to Jesus

Apr19

I remember the day clearly. A group of us junior-highers were in the beautiful redwood forest of California, not too far from where we lived, for a weekend spring retreat at a Young Life camp. The year was 1975. The day: April 19.

Maybe my memory is not so clear, because I don’t remember the name of the man who spoke to us that weekend, and I don’t remember all of the fun activities we enjoyed, but I do remember this: God met me there that weekend.

I had been a church-goer all my life. I knew who Jesus was. I knew He had died on a cross and been raised from the dead. What I didn’t realize, though, is that He had done those things for me.

The speaker that weekend, at the end of one of his talks, challenged us to go out by ourselves around the camp and talk to God about what we had heard. I think it was the first time in my life that I truly, from my heart, talked to God. I finally realized that, good as I was, I was still a sinner. That evening, sitting on a big rock out in the middle of God’s glorious creation, I finally surrendered my life to Jesus. I no longer wanted to be in control. I wanted to be made clean and accept that gift of salvation that He offered. I was reborn. And it was glorious.

Did I see fireworks and feel a dramatic difference that night? No, the process of transformation is life long. In fact, not entirely sure about what I had just done, over the course of the next several months, I doubted my sincerity and asked Jesus to come into my heart many more times. I have a feeling He just smiled at me and said, “Child, I’m already here.”

What a relief to not be in control. Though I must say I do try to wrest that control back every once in a while (OK, more like all the time). Love, joy, peace, patience; all of these are fruit of the Spirit now living within me. Where would I be today if not for His grace?

“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!” (2 Corinthians 9:15).

Thankful today for:

210. hdtv

211. working internet

212. an approaching weekend

Shine

Apr18

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I woke up this morning to the song “Shine” performed by the Newsboys. I’ve never been able to fully understand the lyrics, so I decided to Google them. They’re very weird, but oh so true about how only the love of God can transform people.

Look at the Apostle Paul, or Chuck Colson, or Nicky Cruz (of The Cross and the Switchblade fame). Those are famous examples of people who were transformed by Christ, but I can look at my own life and be very thankful that Jesus also transformed me. I was a liar, self-centered, fearful, a people pleaser, never finding satisfaction in anything I did. When Jesus came into my life, He began the process of transformation, which will continue until I am with Him in glory, but the signs of which you can get a glimpse on a daily basis.

Here are the words to the Newsboys’ song:

Dull as dirt
You can’t assert the kind of light
That might persuade
A strict dictator to retire
Fire the army
Teach the poor origami
The truth is in
The proof is when
You hear your heart stop asking,
“What’s my motivation?”

And try as you may, there isn’t a way
To explain the kind of change
That would make an Eskimo renounce fur
That would make a vegetarian barbecue hamster
Unless you can trace this about-face
To a certain sign…

[Chorus]
Shine
Make ’em wonder what you’ve got
Make ’em wish that they were not
On the outside looking bored
Shine
Let it shine before all men
Let’em see good works, and then
Let ’em glorify the Lord

Out of the shaker and onto the plate
It isn’t Karma
It sure ain’t fate
That would make a Deadhead sell his van
That would make a schizophrenic turn in his crayons
Oprah freaks
And science seeks a rationale
That shall excuse
This strange behavior

When you let it shine
You will inspire
The kind of entire turnaround
That would make a bouncer take ballet
(even bouncers who aren’t happy)
But out of the glare
With nowhere to turn
You ain’t gonna learn it on “What’s My Line?”

[Chorus]
Shine
Make ’em wonder what you’ve got
Make ’em wish that they were not
On the outside looking bored
Shine
Let it shine before all men
Let’em see good works, and then
Let ’em glorify the Lord

Thankful today for:

204. mlb.com

205. other people’s cooking

206. a breeze through open doors and windows

207. modern dentistry

208. a good testing week so far

209. blossoms on my spathiphyllum (aka peace lily)