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Not My Burden to Bear

IMG_2281As the last couple of years have been heavy with heartache, I have struggled with anxiety and feeling out of control. I want things to be “right.” I want everything to work out so that everyone is happy and nobody struggles and flowers and rainbows pop up everywhere.

But you know what? Rainbows need the rain. And flowers have to push their way out of the deep, dark earth to struggle their way to the surface where their beauty can be seen.

IMG_5810There are burdens we simply aren’t meant to carry. That’s been my mantra for the past several weeks as we’ve struggled with the choices of one of our children. “Not mine to carry.”

I picture a small child walking side by side with his dad. But on the child’s back is this huge backpack that is bending him low and causing his feet to stumble and his steps to be slow and painful. His father is right there, asking to carry the weight, but the child, willful and stubborn says in his small voice, “I can do it myself!”

How many times do we hear that from our small children? “Do it myself!”

But when we let the Father reach down and take that burden from us, our backs become straighter, our steps lighter, our eyes on the goal rather than the ground.

The consequences of that child’s choices? Not mine to carry.

The fear of the future and what might be in it? Not mine to carry.

FullSizeRender 5If that father with his child chooses to hand him a notebook to carry from that big ol’ backpack, then that’s the father’s choice, and it is to help make the child stronger. But what he gives his child will never be too hard because he’s got the lion’s share. On his strong shoulders the burden is borne.

My job is to pray, to keep my eyes on Jesus, to hope in Him, knowing that He is sovereign and loving and kind.

God wants me to give Him my burdens. He longs for it. He’s so much better at carrying them than I am. I find freedom. He gets glorified.

Win, win.

This post is a part of the Five-Minute Friday linkup. To read more on the prompt “burden” go to www.fiveminutefriday.com

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Faith in an Ocean

I’ve been in the fiction writing mode for the month of October, so I set aside my regular Tuesday and Friday posts for the month, but I’m back! Today’s 10-Minute Tuesday post prompt is “Ocean.”

IMG_1856I grew up in Oakland, Calif. The Pacific Ocean was always a part of my life. Our house had a view of the San Francisco Bay, but just beyond the Golden Gate Bridge, on a clear day, we could just see the ocean.

Some of my favorite sites are the craggy shores of Northern California. I loved the tide pools and the jagged rocks. The ocean was a peaceful, powerful place to see.

Then I moved to Florida. Bleh. The beaches just didn’t have the same appeal. The waves still ebbed and flowed, but the water was way warmer and the landscape was much less dramatic.

I used to say that I was more a beach person than a mountain person, but I came to realize that it wasn’t the beach itself that drew me—here in Florida I get way too hot and sunburned and sandy—but it was the power and the peace of the waves. I like watching them and hearing them. I know of their danger, and I am fascinated by the creatures the oceans hold.102_1116

I don’t get to spend much time at the beach. We live about 45 minutes away from the nearest shore, but we just don’t make the trip out there very often. I miss it. I miss being able to look out my window and see the vastness in the distance.

There is a popular Christian song called “Oceans” by Hillsong United that I like, even if it is overplayed. The idea is that we can rely on God even if the oceans rise. These words soothe me:

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now.

Through every trial and hard season, God is there. My soul can rest in His embrace. He is my anchor. He won’t let go.

Rest in Him as you listen.

Perfect and Complete

IMG_3766“And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:4).

Perfect and complete. Sounds good, doesn’t it? I would love to get to that point where I feel like I have nothing else to learn, nothing else to gain.

But you know what comes right before verse 4? Verse 3: “for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”

Oh boy. The testing of my faith. Do I really have to go through that in order to gain steadfastness, which is what leads to my being perfect and complete?

And you know what comes before verse 3? That’s right, verse 2? Want to see it? Are you sure you’re ready?

OK, here goes: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.”

IMG_3257Trials of various kind. Producing steadfastness. Leading to being perfect and complete.

Got it.

ho, boy

So I guess that “lacking in nothing” part that comes at the end of verse 4 would mean that I have everything I need to face these trials of various kinds. That’s comforting. I know that no matter what I encounter in my life, God is always there with me. That old adage that is completely false and non-biblical can be thrown out. God certainly will give me more than I can handle so that I will depend on Him.

P1000628And I will gain steadfastness.

And I will be perfect and complete. In Jesus. When He takes me home.

Amen.

This post is a part of the Five Minute Friday link up. Join the fun!

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Seeking the Silent

Today’s 10-Minute Tuesday post is on the prompt “silent.”

IMG_3060My brain is running at full steam.

What if? Why not? Would it be so bad?

I try to stop. I try to quiet it. I try to sleep.

Not going to happen.

There is no silent night in my thoughts. There’s always something roiling and boiling.

Sleep eludes me as I search for ways to shut it down.

Let it go.

Think about it tomorrow.

My brain doesn’t listen. It refuses to be silent.IMG_4424

It yells. It sings. It reviews or previews every conversation.

Could I have said that better? Did I say something wrong? What if I say something wrong?

Be still, my soul. Be silent. Rest.

The hum of the air conditioner. The chirping of cicadas. The croaking of frogs. Lots of frogs. The crash of ice from the ice maker into its bin. The snoring of the dog on the floor of my room.

Nothing is silent in my house.

Breathe. Deep, slow breaths. Out. In. Calm your thoughts.

Pray.

IMG_6175Ahhhh. That’s the ticket. So many people to pray for. So many concerns in the world. If my brain is not going to shut down, might as well put it to good use. Put my cares in the hands of my Creator.

He hears. He knows. He cares. He’s got this.

Finally. Sleep. I know He’s got this.

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Bright Hope For Tomorrow

Today’s 10-minute Tuesday post is about hope.

104_0443Without hope, I think we would live in despair. If we never thought that things would get any better, that we would always be sick, or in debt, or single, or in a bad marriage, then there would be very little reason for us to want to go on living.

We can hope for things that we will never get. When I was younger, and actually still often today, I hoped that I would be able to get a horse. I’ve always loved them. I’ve always wanted one. But we’ve never lived anywhere I could have one, nor have we had the finances to be able to keep one.

But still I hoped.

But that kind of hope seems different. It’s more like a wish. A desire. Something I really IMG_7796-B&Wwant but that I could live without.

There’s an old hymn that says “Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth; thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide. Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine with 10,000 beside” (“Great is They Faithfulness,” Thomas Chisolm and William Runyon, 1923).

“Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide.”

That’s hope. To know that Jesus is with us all the way giving us strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.

Our circumstances might never change, but we have the hope of heaven set before us. In Romans 5:3-5, Paul says, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character IMG_3468produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Oh, bright hope for tomorrow. One day at a time.

Don’t give up hope. Don’t give up on Jesus.

 

Horse photo is of Prince, by JacobRohrPhotography