Archive | November 2015

Feline Friends–Or Foes?

Nov7

 These are my 2 kitties, Stella and Luna. They are sisters that we rescued from the shores of a neighborhood lake. They are identical except that Stella has a small patch of white on her lower belly. They love each other. When we first brought them home, at about 3 months old, they were inseperable. When one wasn’t in the same room, the other would cry and cry until her sister came running.

Then we did what responsible pet owners do: we got them spayed. My mistake was getting the surgeries done on separate days. I was taking them to a new vet, and I wanted to make sure that one did well before taking the other.

Stella was first. She came through the procedure just fine, but when we got her home, we attempted to put the evil collar on her that would keep her from messing with her stitches. That was futile. She hated it and squirmed her way out of it within minutes. Luna didn’t know quite what to make of the whole thing. Stella did a lot of growling and hissing because she was uncomfortable, but soon enough  we had to keep them from romping  with each other while Stella continued to heal.

Suffice it to say that we thought we had made all our mistakes with Stella, so with Luna we would know better. So, a few days later we made the second trip. Everything went perfectly right up to the moment when we brought Luna through the door at home.

You would have thought she had been abducted and replaced with some evil alien bent on taking over the world. Stella not only would have nothing to do with her, she growled and hissed at her like she was the vilest creature on earth.

OK. She just smells funny from the vet. And even though Stella had just been there herself, she was highly offended by the odor. But I thought surely after a day things would be fine.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. The next day there was absolutely no improvement. I had to feed them in separate places. I had to monitor Luna so that she wouldn’t even walk near Stella. This went on for 5 days.

Thank goodness for the internet. I went online and googled the issue. To a person they all said, “Give it time.”

 But Luna mourned that lost relationship. She could not understand it. I saw her cowering when Stella was near. It was like Anna in Disney’s Frozen. “We used to be best buddies, now we’re not. I wish you could tell me why.”

Sometimes we’re like that with God. If something happens and He doesn’t act how we think He should act, or He doesn’t look the way we think He should look, we back away. We isolate ourselves, or we lash out.

And He watches mournfully, sad at our broken relationship.

We kept telling Stella, “She’s your sister! She hasn’t changed. She may smell a little funny, but she’s still the sibling you know and love!”

Eventurally, after 5 long days, Stella accepted Luna again. Now they’re as sweet and loving as ever. And I will never make the mistake again of taking them to the vet at different times.

And God waits for us. He’s not going anywhere. He’ll wait until we remember that He hasn’t changed.

When Dreams Die

Nov1

cloud-tearsAs parents, we are told to never push our dreams on our children. If we didn’t make the swim team, we are not supposed to force our kids to swim. If we always wanted to be a rock star, we are urged not to hand a guitar to our kids and order them to play. I get that. We didn’t do that. No matter how much I love baseball, I didn’t make my boys continue to play when they didn’t want to.

But no one told us what to do when our kids’ dreams change.

For 4 years our eldest lived and breathed JROTC. He rocked the uniform; he earned the promotions; he participated in the competitions; he won the awards. We emotionally invested ourselves in the dream he expressed of flying in the Air Force. We spent countless hours coaching him through his application to the Air Force Academy. We made sure that we were checking in along the way, ensuring this is what he wanted to do. When the Academy didn’t pan out, we wholeheartedly threw our support behind his entrance into UCF’s Air Force ROTC program. We bought the Air Force T-shirts and put the bumper sticker on our car. His dream became ours.

Then, one day a few weeks ago, he told us he didn’t want to do that anymore.

Wait. What?

He had decided he wanted to drop out of his college ROTC program and change his major. Now, for a freshman just halfway through his first semester, changing his mind on a major is not a big thing. But what happened to the dream?

I felt like I had whiplash. What was I supposed to do now? I had the bumper sticker, for crying out loud!

OK, step back. Take a deep breath. Here are 3 things to do when their dream changes and your dream dies.

1. Assure them that you will support them whatever they decide. Of course, my younger son then informed us that he was moving out tomorrow and heading to “Hungaria” and joining the circus. Seriously, though, Justin needs to know that it’s OK to explore options, as long as he’s doing it for the right reasons. Is he changing for fear that he won’t succeed at what he wanted to do?

2. Give yourself room to grieve the dream, and let them in on the process. I shared with both my sons how I was feeling about this change, and that, in the process, I would be asking questions more for my own sake than for his. (That’s the conversation where the circus came up. Thanks for keeping things light, Son.)

3. Ask them how you can help. With a change of major, even in freshman year, came the need for a conversation with a new advisor in the new college of study. All this had to happen fairly quickly so he could register for his next semester. My question to him was, “What would you like me to do for you?” He asked me to research a couple of things for him relating to what he was considering pursuing next. I can do that. And I can pray. Pray for him and for us as we try to refocus.

I really don’t care what he does. I honestly don’t. He can be a garbage collector (though that might not be the best use of a college education), as long as he is listening to the Lord and doing what He wants him to do.

Getting a bumper sticker off the car is another issue.

image from sourceseekers.com